>you see, luke, when you and your twin sister were born, we had to hide you from the empire and vader. this is why we left you on tatooine with vader's family and your sister with one of the most important families in the galaxy.
>you see, luke, when you and your twin sister were born, we had to hide you from the empire and vader.
>Luke, did i ever tell you about Reva Sevander? She tried to kill you when you were little. I let her and Darth Vader go multiple times.
>that's right, Obi Wan! when you left me back in KENOBI™_episode_6, I was but the learner, now I am the master!
You underestimate my power Anakin! But i will let you live. Again. So we can meet further along the way again. For reasons.
what in the frick were they thinking
I know exactly what they were thinking.
UNCIVILIZED
Throwing rocks is cool and inherently Jedi the problem is the director and crew in general are incompetent and it looks like a comedy scene from a horror schlock like Army of the Dead or something where someone off camera is throwing shit at him. It makes me think of a RLM routine where Jay and Mike are throwing shit at Rich or something. When I see Rich Evans when I'm supposed to see Darth Vader there's a problem.
It's right out of the stoning scene from Life of Brian
>unironic reddit leddit media watcher
have a nice day
They wanted to tie in rey rock floating but also do an inversion of empire strikes back when vader was throwing tvs at luke
>thinking
How was Vader not dead after this.
No one's ever really gone
oh you
you see, vader happens to be from tatooine and it just so happens that sand (a thing vader is quite familiar with) is nothing but tiny rocks so when vader is thrown a bunch of bigger rocks he is just actually dealing with bigger sand
He's wearing armor. It probably didn't even hurt that much.
why did obi wan even throw the stones? does he not know that only people who hadn't ever commited a sin could throw them?
He is Jesus.
Close! Canon reason is that after the very first rock, Vader steps on top of it and immediately gets the high ground. At that point, he quite literally cannot die. He was a bit too weak to win, but high enough he could not lose.
Those were actually pillows, it was just a prank.
>it was just a prank, ani. Look! The camera's right there!
It's all that woodoo hide
Sith really dislike dying.
Jedis are too moronic to understand this fact so they never confirm the kill.
I'm almost sure this is verbatim from Wookiepedia.
Please explain?
As shitty as this show was, there was something satisfying about Obi-Wan pushing Vader's shit in and making the Sith fans seethe. Vader ended up looking sad, pathetic, and wounded and people hated it even though it's totally in line with his original trilogy character.
it also made the power scaling even more inconsistent
Frick off with your homosexual ass anime power scaling. I used to work with a bunch of twenty year Olds who wouldn't shut the frick up about it. "Could goku defeat spongebob?" "Is bugs bunny the meta?" "Who's stronger, superman or omniman?" I wish you'd fricking have a nice day homosexual
tough day at work?
Tough day living off the government like a black?
(Captcha pmsm, maybe I'm the homosexual here)
you are, you're being mean
I'll give ya a kiss make it all better
>I wish you'd fricking have a nice day homosexual
Effectively, they are, because they will never breed, while my genes will live forever.
>I used to work with a bunch of twenty year Olds who wouldn't shut the frick up about it.
And i bet you never once said anything about it because you're a real life b***h.
No, I called them homosexuals. But also consider sucking me wiener. Gently. All the way to the base. I wanna see you flossing with my pubic hair.
mega gay
For you
But it kills the story. Why do Obi-Wan and Yoda need Luke if Obi-Wan can push Vader's shit in alone? He's 2:0 against Vader before he even talks to Luke in ANH.
There's only one of two things that poster can be, an ironic moron saying Today's Latest StarSlop is great to be contrarian, or a genuine mental midget who liked prequelshit and thinks George's lazy atonal turds were worthy of comment.
i'm pretty sure that anon was just saying he was glad this idea that vader is some sort of monstruous and unstoppable killing machine set by the prequels was quickly shot down in the show
>idea that vader is some sort of monstruous and unstoppable killing machine set by the prequels
The prequels where he loses to Dooku and Obi-Wan?
>where he loses to Dooku
huh?
Remember how Anakin first lost an arm?
you mean the setup to the payoff i posted?
I meant Anakin Skywalker using badly to Dooku, yes.
I remember the weird choreography where he stands with his arm out completely still for a full second so Dooku can lop it off
>obi wans entire life and philosophy is in ruins, has to exile himself to the butthole of the galaxy for the rest of his literal life
>vader gets a cool suit, badass cape and legions at his disposal
Who lost what now?
not to play devil's advocate or anything but I guess that would be because he knows he's still no match for the emperor
>because he knows he's still no match for the emperor
Yoda almost is, however. Yoda and an Obi-Wan than overpower Vader would beat the Emperor pretty solidly.
i guess you're right. OT yoda's power came from his wisdom but I guess the fact that the prequels made him so OP kind of lessened his character in the OT a bit since it would make no sense for him and obi not to join luke in his fight against evil
Not Lucas' fault that you made an incorrect assumptrion.
Except for the part where Yoda's so old he just dies in ROTJ.
he had 20 years before that happened to join forces and act?
If you really think about it, it doesn't make any sense that the Jedi went into hiding in the first place, at least not the characters as we know them. It's shown there were dozens of them that survived the slaughter, and any group of them could have succeeded in stopping the Empire's plans with any gumption at all. The original movies make it clear that the Jedi are totally fricked and Luke was their only hope, meant to rise and become the symbol of their order. Obi-Wan and Yoda both gave their lives specifically for the purpose of elevating him to fulfill his destiny.
In the prequels, the Jedi are depicted as a monastic order of military ascetics. They are masters of combat in all variety of weapons and feared throughout the galaxy as practically mythical, and their leaders also are shrewd battlefield tacticians and strategists. It's senseless, George clearly wrote as he went and elevated them to this bizarre status to make them more relevant and cool in every scene.
There were loads of Jedi on Geonosis and they were fricked 'til the clone army arrived.
There were 200 Jedi, and they were not at all expecting to have to fight tens of thousands of new state-of-the-art droids, they were taken by surprise. And they still won. And that illustrates my exact point, actually. Why are these people in charge of ordering around armies? They're warrior monks, why are they ordering around armies and shit? It's fine for them to be their own thing but why the frick are they also strategists and and tacticians?
Why did nobles with no experience in war lead armies in real life?
Because of influence and power.
The Jedi were already the peacekeepers of the Republic so at least they had some legitimate reason to lead armies.
>Why did nobles with no experience in war lead armies in real life?
Nobles used to be the warrior caste whose right to rule over a landmass was directly derived from their ability to defend it, up close and personal. It wasn't until much later that they devolved into useless homosexuals, and that's ultimately why they lost their power.
>And they still won.
They were seconds from unavoidable execution. Then the clones arrived
I'm going to be honest with you, I was going to debate you on this but that movie was so fricking boring I literally forgot about nearly everything in it, so I will concede.
Remember when Yoda taught Luke that levitating shit was just a parlor trick meant for demonstrating the connection the Force offers between all living things and the natural world and that really it was about inner peace and self-control and not maxing out DPS, and that's why people lost their minds for two generations and turned "Jedi" into an actual philosophical ideal? Haha me neither
oh but lifting rock cool. i want more rock lifting in moopies. and then he threw rocks like crazy, reminds me of my animes
that shit's for nerds, real jedis do awesome shit
Would've looked cooler if she used both hands. And actually struggled a bit instead of that stupid "Nani?" face
Then he pulled a little Fisher Price lightsaber and dueled Count Dooku.
>and not maxing out DPS
stopped reading gaymer gaygit
>moron fails to understand irony
Many such cases!
lel. Was someone watching the Namek saga when they wrote this
what game is this from?
The force awakens. Just wait til you see what he does to the destroyer
If Jedis are that powerful, then why don’t they fight like this all the time? Why do they even need lightsabers?
If you're a Jedi fighting somebody with similar powers and they have a lightsaber, you need a lightsaber.
Why don't they just stop fricking around and turn the Force into DBZ ki blasts and shit?
And she was a good friend
This looks horrible lmao
it sure does
it's embarrassingly bad
not even in a "well they had to rush the CGI" but in everything from planning to execution
>Luke, you must train your Jedi parkour skill.
Wait, she's Batman?!
I had some friends that seriously tried defending this scene, I was in awe. It's really stupid that you can now judge whether someone will approve of something based solely on how they feel it aligns with red or blue team, it's fricking insane.
Ewan McGregor looks like complete shit.
I take it laser beams in the Star Wars universe are considerably slower than actual bullets in ours, right
>I take it laser beams in the Star Wars universe are considerably slower than actual bullets in ours, right
acktchually they aren't laser beams, they're bolts of heated gas.
It takes place in the past, they didn't have gunpowder back then
they arent technically laser beams but she still shouldnt be able to block a vehicles weaponry, especially that easily
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
https://vocaroo.com/13cVykobml8D
It’s not terrible, but I hate how the AI sounds like it’s constantly running out of breath trying to say everything at a slightly too fast pace, it’s so weird
>that pronunciation on "orange"
S tier post
OH LAWD SHE RUNNIN
SHE RUNNIN WIF DA LIESAYBBA
What the frick am I watching? This looks like absolute dogshit. What is all that spazy shit she's doing? Is she a moronic Jedi because they're trying to be diverse and inclusive now?
birdemic tier
Sir or Madam:
I represent Mr. James Nguyen, Director of the motion picture, Bordemic: Shock and Terror. I am posting to inform you that unless you delet your slanderous comparison between my client's film, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, and whatever amateur slop was in that webm (see:
).
I am sure that we can agree that settling this issue without taking it all the way to court is the wiser move. We await your compliance.
Thank you.
pew pew pew
>those awful Rebels-inspired costumes
Faloni ruined an entire generation of star wars.
>hire a black
>find one that can't run properly
That's actually kinda impressive and a very good way to fight harmful stereotypes.
Luke midichlorian count was higher, they couldn't hide him somewhere where he could develop himself
yes, this is headcanon, i dont even like star wars
>our hopes and dream on this aryan boy we must put. if to avoid his liberal sister we are...
It's actually true though. The Emperor senses Luke as soon as he starts training with Yoda.
Why doesn't he sense YODA?
Remember that Anakin had a significantly higher M-count than Yoda as established in TPM. Same with Luke.
Yoda has more control, so he doesn't spunk out force residue like Luke does
And that means he had to be "hiding" in plain sight...why?
yeah but you think Vader might check up on some of his relatives just to cover all the bases. Maybe not personally, but an agent of some kind would be asked to check and they would mention the youth in the report.
Check WHAT? Why?
to cover all the bases
So what are they checking?
no one really knows vader's true identity though. for all everyone cares he's just another guy that isn't even tied to anakin. in fact for all everyone else knows anakin probably died
>all the bases.
To what? He thinks Padme and the kids are dead. What's he looking for down there?
>Hey, dude who I'm only related to because my mom married your dad, sharing not a drop of blood between us, just wanted to check all the bases. You know, see how things were going around. Just wanted to reconnect after a bit, you know? See how it be. You good? Been a weird week for me.
The one that I always thought was weird was Anakin not chopping Watto the frick in half.
Probably because Watto had taken them on from Gardulla the Hutt who treated the pair of slaves far, far worse. At least with Watto Anakin got free time, Shmi got a home, etc.
I guess but I always figured he'd want to kill every last remnant of his old life. He kills kids in the temple, going to chop Watto's head off would've been something I'd go do if I had a red lightsaber. I'd even mount the little homosexual's head on the wall in my sick medical pod room.
digits of truth?
Witnessed
Vader would never suspect it was his own home planet. He associated Tatooine with Pod Racing and could never accept the joyful memories of his younger self who he had symbolically killed.
>Why yes Luke. I have been wearing the same robes for 20 years.
>your sister with one of the most important families in the galaxy.
they weren't THAT important
she was a princess bro she was royalty
ok and? we've got hundreds upon hundreds of princesses and princes and they're not important at all
all it means is that she wasn't a poor dirt farmer
>all it means is that she wasn't a poor dirt farmer
yes so, she stood out among everyone else which isn't exactly hiding someone from the empire
Yeah but luke was literally hidden on the fricking planet vader was born on, that's the shittiest place for him to hide, as well as obi wan hiding there
never said otherwise
>stood out among everyone else
Among ALL other Senate-related families?
given how important the senate is? i'd say it's among 99% of the planet's population
>She was princess, Han was smuggler, can I make it any more obvious?
Leia's stance in society was the equivalent of being the daughter of the Governor of Utah. Sure, your family has a degree of importance, but no one actually gives a shit about you or pays attention to you. She only became prominent in the Galaxy through being a rebel
>the representative of an entire planet is the equivalent of the governor of Utah
lol
You're right actually; she's less important than the chief tyrant of Utah. There's 52 states, but there's thousands or representatives in the galactic senate.
you seem to forget on what scale the GALACTIC senate works on. if anything the senate is something like nato of all things.
I'm sure the people of Alderaan know who their senator is?
>There's 52 states
excuse me?
the 50 united states of america + liquid + gas. there, 52 states. sentence him to death, your honor
>an entire planet
In a Republic with thousands of planets.
yes so, I would imagine that anyone who doesn't like Bail back in alderaan would go after him or his daughter?
only so many people uncle owen (a simple farmer) could upset against the many billions senator lars could. even more billions considering he was with the rebellion, which obi wan did know
>You see Luke, Vader's crush-gaunt was made from wudu hide in B.E. 437 by Mubuu Ganuptu of the Glorpglorp system, imperial serial number S.E.159612-B
I'm hoping this is bullshit but I honestly can't tell
why didnt qui gon just enter a tard rage mode, that way he wouldnt have died
lmao what a terrible jedi
well, when you take a look at qui gon jinn's build you can see that he actually forgot to put points into the force rage power
>They never even changed his last name
>you know... now that i think about it, I think I know who this Ben Kenobi guy was and also that Luke Skywalker that was with him
>Luke, did I ever tell you how Darth Vader was just a guy's name? That was his first name, Darth. It wasn't a title or anything. He was one of those petty generals sitting around the council room early in your story. No, he wasn't a big robot guy with a black suit and a laser sword. That guy died in the first five minutes of the scrip- I mean, your first encounter with the Sith on the wasteland world of Utapau. He was killed by your father, Kane Starkiller, but not before killing your little brother Deak. Also your name was Annikin back then. Ironically though, that line "more machine than man"? That did in fact refer to your father Kane, which is why he sent you to be trained by his good friend, General Luke Skywalker of Alderaan. Don't try to understand it, you'll only hurt yourself dear boy.
Sounds kino. George literally cannot miss.
It's interesting that the designers worked very diligently to build the droids just like George wrote:
>ARTWO is a short, (three feet) claw-armed tripod. His face is a mass of computer lights, surroundinga radar eye. THREEPIO is a tall, gleaming android of human proportions. He is thin, with a totally metallic surface of an ArtDeco design. The robots attempt to get out from under the canisters, but rushing gas from a broken pipe keeps knocking them over.
yet it seems he was still imagining something other than what we got.
>Artwo gives Threepio a sheepish look and clings to a side-rail for dear life, as debris flies through the hallway.
I guess he was imagining R2 as more humanoid-like despite being a "tripod"?
Bonus lol:
>Devil Two (Chewie), a young hotshot of about sixteen years, miraculously dives his ship through a virtual wall of lazer fire, and blasts a huge radar disc into dust. Chewie signals his navigator, who lets out a whooping cheer, as the craft veers into a victory roll.
Han Solo is a weird alien guy and Chewie is a human boy and they're not involved with each other.
>He was one of those petty generals sitting around the council room early in your story
this is dumb. "Vader" literally means "father"
NTA but, in which language? don't tell me german cos it's "vater"
The meme language
christ
yea thank god people actually had meetings to iron out the story first huh? But hey hearing about first drafts of a movie's story is kinda fun I guess.
Leia was fast
and the prequel fans thought we would never see force speed powers again
>"For you"
>chases child
I don't recall giving them permission to use my likeness
>for you
>Leia panting
This was so terrible. Honestly they could have come up with some more believable gags...even if she just found a small cave they couldn't get into and worked her way out of a different exit. See how easy that was? Also, when 4yo girls are scared, they should cry.
You’re a big guy
No I meant I'm gay for that man posting here on Cinemaphile. Why did you post that star wars guy with a mask. I don't get it. Is for you a reference to something
I've been watching so much Sopranos lately, that the thumbnail looked like Phil to me.
>What the hell's wrong with you, Leia? You look like a Jabba Palace's prostitute. You make me sick.
>20 fricking years in Alderaan
>He was a fricking kid
>I'm gonna tell you one thing, and I'm not ashamed to say it. My estimation, of Reeva Sevander as a Sith, just fricking plummeted
>HE WAS THE BEST STAR-PILOT IN THE GALAXY, AND A CUNNING WARRIOR AND HE WAS A GOOD FRIEND
These are so dumb that my stomach actually knotted up from watching
goddammit flea
based Flea, scene should've had one of his funky bass solos in the background
bruh
>and that's why you have no memory of your mother
>im a good friend
>Well nobody's perfect Duke, I needed the cash
>But I did my best to find a good buyer
SO I USED THE FORCE
I PICKED UP A BOX
I LIFTED SOME ROCKS
WHILE I STOOD ON MY HEAD
BUT I WON'T FORGET WHAT YODA SAID
he said luke stay away from the darker side
but if you start to go astray, let the force be your guide
oh, my yoda
yo yo yo yo yoda
As if a rich politician's adopted daughter would make the Empire suspicious that she might be a child that they didn't know existed.
it wouldn't take the empire a lot to figure out that
1. she is adopted
2. the biological family's identity is somehow unknown to the empire despite being the ruling force
3. this b***h has dna that matches vader's
Yes they'd know she was adopted. So what? There's absolutely no reason to think anything of it. WHY would they be checking her DNA???
The prequel trilogy shouldn't have even tried to fill in the pieces of the puzzle leading up to the OT, at least not as a primary objective. It should have been the kino adventures of Obi-wan and Anakin and introduced new characters. Anakin becoming Vader should have happened off-camera.
>Anakin becoming Vader should have happened off-camera
wtf was on board until I read this shit
Pretentious fricks like to do shit like that.
>Anakin becoming Vader should have happened off-camera
It would have been the ultimate blue balling of all star wars gays. Glorious.
They stuck Luke right under Vader's nose, where he would never suspect he would be hiding, and where he never wanted to go due to his memories there. They knew Anakin was a raging misogynist and would never suspect he would ever have a daughter
>Rey
>Rey who?
>Rey-fridgerator
The decision made perfect sense.
The Organa family had enough power to protect Leia and it was easy to pass her off as their daughter.
And Luke, it wasn't like Vader would even think "You know what, I haven't visited that family in Tatooine in a while. They're somewhat related to me I guess, I should go visit them."
Tatooine, as a whole, was something deeply related to Anakin, so Vader avoided going there unless necessary.
he literally buried his mom on their farm
first off, being related to a political figure already would put a target on her back, bail organa was also one of the leaders of the rebellion which put her in even bigger danger (it led to her joining the rebellion and getting captured). the empire should know that leia isn't actually related to bail or anyone from there for that matter
also everyone keeps mentioning how vader wouldn't go to tatooine but what's stopping the empire from noticing how the skywalker family suddenly has a newborn of unknown origin? or this guy dressed as a jedi who goes by ben kenobi
>what's stopping the empire from noticing how the skywalker family suddenly has a newborn of unknown origin?
Presumably what's stopping them is that neither Vader or Palapatine ever got anyone to check, because they didn't even know the twins were ever born.
>what's stopping the empire from noticing how the skywalker family suddenly has a newborn of unknown origin?
>backwater planet with population density ruled by a crime family
Why do you assume they had accurate census keeping, or that the Empire would care?
The Ben Kenobi bit was just because Lucas hadn't written the prequels yet. It does indeed make 0 sense for him to go by Kenobi.
Tatooine is a backwater crime riddled shithole, no one in the empire cares if a pair of dirt poor moisture farming sandBlack folk had another baby
>wasn't like Vader would even think "You know what, I haven't visited that family in Tatooine in a while. They're somewhat related to me I guess, I should go visit them."
vader doesn't get to think, his master's command is all he ever follows.
Vader has zero reason to look for either of them because he's convinced they're dead. He thinks he killed Padme while she was pregnant. I don't remember if Palpatine knew the kids survived or not, but even if he knew early on, Luke and Leia are Anakin's children, not Vader's. Once Sidious reveals Luke to Vader and says they gotta kill him, Vader immediately responds that they could turn him instead. He's already protecting Luke in ESB when he doesn't kill him and wants to work with him. Luke existing reminds Vader that he's Anakin and more than just a pawn for the Emperor
Yeah Luke being put with the Organas is kind of a cool "hidden in plain sight" idea, but Ben put Leia in a very unsafe and unhidden position, because they had to retcon she was Luke's sister later.
Beru being revealed to be a strapped, redneck mom was kind of based honestly.
Vader would never willingly return to Tatooine after his mom's death and any story that says otherwise should be discarded as noncanon.
>willingly
vader, I am feeling a bit silly today, how about we send you to your homeplanet. That wretched place where you and your mother were slaves for this israeli alien. Where your mother was raped and killed by a bunch of barbarians.
Hell, it's not too much out of the wheelhouse for Sheev to send a bunch of stormtroopers down to Tatooine to kill Owen & Beru just to make sure that there's nothing there tying Vader to his old life.
would sheev even know about Own and Beru?
If he wanted to, yea. He could literally sit in his gamer chair and say "Maybe I should double check that my walking kill stick of fear doesnt have anything on his home planet that could give him any kind of out whatsoever" and have some butthole write up a report, or just Use The Force (TM)
The rule is always that if it would be convenient for him to be depicted as more sinister, then yes. He's like Joker in the sense that his capability is questionably beyond the realm of other characters for no apparent reason at any given time.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that just under 100 Jedi survived the Purge, but instead of banding together and bumrushing the Emperor and Darth Vader they all stayed separate and got slowly picked off 1 by one over the decades, and they were good friends.
it would have been impossible for 100 jedi to communicate without the Empire knowing, and the Emperor isn't just out and about by himself, he would have his guards and Vader, if not a whole military company with him
>it would have been impossible for 100 jedi to communicate without the Empire knowing
Kek, really? An entire rebel alliance forms and 100 Jedi can't group up on some backwards planet the empire has no interest like Tattooine. moronic plot retcons with a healthy dose of can cope.
>it would have been impossible for 100 jedi to communicate without the Empire knowing
would it?
In the Yidsney cartoons someone steals Imperial codes and infiltrates their bases every week
The Empire is a joke
Imagine if at the end of WW2, a soldier had the capacity to kill Hitler outright, but just kinda shoots him in the legs and lets him live to go off to somehow kill 6 million more people. He'd be strung up to this day.
>somehow kill 6 million more people.
Never happened
In the og trilogy, aren't uncle lars and aunt beru just "aunt and uncle" they aren't actually related to him?
It's some prequel retcon bullshit that Anakin was from tattooine correct?
>It's some prequel retcon bullshit that Anakin was from tattooine correct?
No, it was very much implied that Anakin was from Tatooine too in ANH.
I'm trying to think how and drawing a blank. Obi-Wan just tells Luke about his father being a Jedi knight, that doesn't link him to Tatooine at all.
You sure?
This. I remember anikin having no real info in the ot.
Obi Wan literally says:
>That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved.
Which isn't really true.
So uncle lars is Anakin's brother? weird how no one gave a shit about him or his wife.
>So uncle lars is Anakin's brother?
No, if they were brothers he'd be Owen Skywalker.
lol, they wouldn't because they would have their father's last name not shmi's
If you're going full pedant then Anakin's full brother would also have the force as his father.
i'm talking about the man that freed and married shmi skywalker
I've grown to loathe star wars fanboys ever since the hype started building up for the force awakens. I feel a sort of perverse joy when i see disney churn out more and more SLOP that shits on the original films.
>mace windu doesn't beat palpatine because he is more powerful but because he has a super cool stance that was made to combat sith
someone post the webm please
>Luke...have I ever told you about Ezra Bridger? He's really cool, Luke. Cooler than you. He looks just like Aladdin! A main character from a more civilized age. His first lightsaber had a gun in it, you would never think of something so clever. He's also an orphan but unlike you he doesn't live with his kindly aunt and uncle who spoiled him rotten. Yes, you're spoiled Luke. I heard you whining about wanting to go to toshi station. Embarrassing. Anyway, Ezra has cool friends. A blind jedi knight who trains him, a cool last of his kind(for a while anyway) purple wookie type that actually speaks basic and his astromech is cooler than your precious little artoo. Artoo has saved my life numerous times but I would still rather be friends with chopper. That's just how cool that murderous droid is. Oh but that's not even the best part he's around the two hottest pieces of ass since Ahsoka: Green mommy twilek hera and the dangerous Mandolorian assassin/weaponsmaster/artist/acepilot/darksaberwielder/force user/genius Sabine Wren! You just know they got up to some kinky shit trapped in close quarters for months on end with nothing to do but train and frick.
>And he's strong in the force. So strong in fact he has rare innate abilities such as being able to talk to animals. Wolves, space whales, owl things, you name it. And the animals LIKE him, Luke. What animals like you? Not wampas and certainly not those womprats you love to kill, you nerfherder. Oh but not just animals like him. Everyone he meets tends to like him. Even me. I saved him from dying in that dreaded tatooine desert. Right before I killed Maul for the second time. He also liked Ezra. As did the emperor, your sister the princess Leia, Mon Mothma, Yoda, Ahsoka, vicious rebel leader Forrest Whitaker. The list goes on, Luke. They all wanted to train him or have him join their side. Who likes you? Han? Frankly I wish I was training Ezra instead of you. He could have been a good padawan.
I doubt Alderaan has an education system akin to the one in America but I don't know if i can discard that yet
Why did they even separate them? Why were Vader, Luke and Leia even related? It literally had no purpose. What the frick is even happening in these movies?
Not them just being related but them being twins is the worst plot twist or reveal in the entire series because it ruins almost everything that comes after. Eu, prequels, disney slop, everything.
>Why were Vader, Luke and Leia even related? It literally had no purpose.
It fricked with luke in 5 which led to him going against yoda and kenobi's wishes and redeeming his father. it also i guess killed the love triangle between luke leia and han
it's also the reason why vader doesn't want to kill luke in 5 so that he can have his son join him against the emperor. he eventually saves his son from the emperor in 6.
So what's the point of Luke seeing himself in Vader's helmet? Also for the record, just prior to "saving" Luke he threatens to murder him, his friends and mindrape his sister. Not sure Vader was big on family, until the plot needed him to be literally fifteen seconds later.
RotJ is the biggest piece of shit ever produced. Ewoks are cute, everything plot-related is dumb as frick.
>So what's the point of Luke seeing himself in Vader's helmet?
He's letting his emotions get the best of him, essentially luke is falling in the same path vader did, this idea is reinforced even more in ep6 when after cutting vader's hand in a fit of rage, luke realises vader and him have that missing limb in common.
>Also for the record, just prior to "saving" Luke he threatens to murder him, his friends and mindrape his sister. Not sure Vader was big on family, until the plot needed him to be literally fifteen seconds later.
I don't know where you were getting mindrape part from but vader lured luke out of his hiding spot by threatening his friends and most importantly his sister, something he sensed meant a lot to him. I never even said that he was big on family, just that he wanted Luke to join forces with him to overthrow the emperor.
>RotJ is the biggest piece of shit ever produced. Ewoks are cute, everything plot-related is dumb as frick.
you got filtered by a children's movie
>He's letting his emotions get the best of him, essentially luke is falling in the same path vader did, this idea is reinforced even more in ep6 when after cutting vader's hand in a fit of rage, luke realises vader and him have that missing limb in common.
Right. He's seeing himself in Vader, more and more as the movies progress. What more motivation does Luke need to try and then redeem him? Proving not to Vader that it's possible to abandon the dark and return to the light, but to prove it to himself. Where does the arbitrary "muh daddy" part come in?
>don't know where you were getting mindrape part from but vader lured luke out of his hiding spot by threatening his friends and most importantly his sister
Vader couldn't sense him?
>Where does the arbitrary "muh daddy" part come in?
learning that Vader is his father forces him to confront complex emotions and reconsider his understanding of his own identity. It challenges him to grapple with the darker aspects of his lineage and his own potential for falling to the dark side.
>Vader couldn't sense him?
further confirmation that you didn't watch the movie
>It challenges him to grapple with the darker aspects of his lineage and his own potential for falling to the dark side.
His lineage? It's one homie, not his entire bloodline from the last 1,000 generations.
Also his own potential is revealed by Yoda, in the tree, before any of the dumb genetic relation shit is introduced.
I.E. Luke already had all the motivation he needed. I know it's one of the most famous scenes in cinematic history, but the whole "I am your father" crap is so stupid it's unreal. I almost wish it was just Vader baiting Luke. That'd actually be more in character for Vader.
>His lineage? It's one homie, not his entire bloodline from the last 1,000 generations.
yes, his lineage.
>Also his own potential is revealed by Yoda, in the tree, before any of the dumb genetic relation shit is introduced.
this vision's meaning is made stronger by the fact that luke skywalker is following in his father's footsteps
>I.E. Luke already had all the motivation he needed
which is why flipping his entire motivation with the reveal in ep 5 was so interesting
But it's not interesting. Luke wanting to redeem his father's murderer both to prove, against his mentors' wishes, and to himself that the light was more powerful is interesting. That concept created the conflict within Luke's mind because he was afraid of the dark, despite the obvious power he recognized and was constantly tempted by. Inserting "father" here and there did nothing. The father/son dynamic had zero relevance in the ending resolution, and if it did then that ruins the aforementioned.
I think he got mixed up with who actually got mindraped in RotJ (Luke did).
>So... you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will.
It's like you guys have never watched the movie or the only noteworthy scene in it.
you picked whatever definition of mindrape you wanted and then expected us to just guess it?
>THREATENS TO
>THREATENS TO
>THREATENS TO
MEANING HE WILL, OR INTENDS TO, NOT THAT IT ALREADY HAS OCCURRED.
Jesus H. Christ can you b***hes even read?
You're legitimately moronic
>Vader mindrapes Luke to find out about Leia
This actually happens in RotJ
>Vader threatens to mindrape Leia
This does not happen in RotJ, and your quote proves it, dumbass.
Oh and this just implies that Luke, and by extension Vader, don't really give a shit about anybody unless they're blood related, even if they have no prior relationship or major knowledge of each other's character. Skywalkers are just space israelites then, I guess?
Frick it, I wish Kylo had killed them all.
ik this is bait but luke doesn't want to kill him in 6 after he senses the good in him, not after he learned his blood connection to him. Vader didn't really care for Luke until he made him realise that it really wasn't too late for him during their confrontation on the throne room.
It's not bait, and you just proved my point; the characters being related has no purpose in the story and is a poorly implemented, redundant attempt at motivation where motive already existed.
>redundant attempt at motivation where motive already existed.
it's more like the twist recontextualizes the entire story, transforming the battle between good and evil into a deeply personal conflict.
But why? It's not personal because Luke and Vader don't actually know each other, BEYOND their respectable relationship with Light/Good and Dark/Evil.
It recontextualizes it into a story that is never actually told. Why the frick did Luke not give Aunt Beru or Uncle Owen the time of day if he's so committed to family? He has one scene of introspection and just abandons their farmland. What a respectable young lad.
>Why the frick did Luke not give Aunt Beru or Uncle Owen the time of day if he's so committed to family? He has one scene of introspection and just abandons their farmland. What a respectable young lad.
You killed me. now the bait isn't even believable enough to be funny anymore
It's true though. All that moisture gone to waste, and for what?
i really did enjoy the back and forth though, could you make a thread around this topic one of these days? not right now though, it's kinda late
I got you bro, maybe over the weekend, yeah?
>It's not bait
it is but i enjoy the back and forth
>Why were Vader, Luke and Leia even related?
Because if Luke isn't Vader's son then Vader isn't conflicted and stands by while Palpatine wins (for a few minutes before the Death Star explodes).
>Luke, if you don't join me I'll kill you, your friends, and torture your sister (my daughter) physically and mentally until she submits
Real convincing stuff. What a conflict.
The real, boring answer it that the story was supposed to run a lot longer, Luke was supposed to become the new Vader and his sister (not Leia) would spend the next trilogy fighting him. Given how long it took to make the first three movies, they realised this was way too big a story and hastily had to tie up all the loose ends using what they had, the Leia thing was always a bad choice and they've only drawn attention to it by making a thousand prequels / sequels / remakes. If it just ends with "Jedi" it's a perfectly good story.
wasn't this something lawrence kasdan came up with and george shot down?
It's hard to know what Lucas originally intended these days, because he either has a bad memory or he's just a liar. But, as far as I know it's established that he wanted "Star Wars" to span about 9 movies and that "there is another.." referred to Luke's sister, who would be a new character and that she'd play a major role. The part about Luke falling to the Dark Side might have been vetoed.
This is bullshit because ANH was always planned as an one-off. It's success was something nobody expected. Then they had to do the Vader father/Luke and Leia twins plot in order to continue the gravy. But Vader was always the focus since he surprisingly became the most popular character in the story.
OT > everything else
just remembered boba fett riding a rancor and that whole fight where they destroy the city
Frick. That's why Luke was still a loser living at home in his early 20's, and motherfricking Leia was a part of the Senate already. Just like in real life today!
>luke, did i ever tell you how shitty tattooine is and how not shitty alderaan is? The planets were good friends
Vader wasn't looking for kids cause he thought they were dead.
Do people actually believe Windu beat Sidious and he didnt job on purpose?