>You’re one to talk. Moaning in your sleep every night. At least I’m not afraid of my pillow. “Don’t kill Cedric!” Who’s Cedric? Your boyfriend? “He’s going to kill me mum!” Where is your mum, Potter? She dead? Is she dead? Is she dead, Potter?
How do you respond without sounding mad?
>Knows his cousin is literally magical and has been abused all his life
>Continues to antagonise him
Darwin award
>Knows his cousin is a little b***h who is too afraid to stand up for himself
>Continues to try to toughen him up
Chad award
>Knows his cousin is a little b***h who is too afraid to stand up for himself
Didn't he inflate the guy's aunt for pissing him off just two years earlier?
He knows that it is illegal for Harry to use magic outside of school.
harry was this close to doing a magical columbine
I wouldn't have said a single word to him. I'd have listened to what Dudley had to say and that's what no one did
Whip out my wand to assert dominance
In England a pointy stick is a weapon. The Harry Potter movies had to have a master-at-arms on the set to ensure proper handling of the wands. When Harry waves the wand in front of Dudley, that is genuine terror on Dudley's face. The director knew the Dudley actor was from England and he instructed Harry to pull it out without informing the Dudley actor.
Bong genetics never cease to amaze me
Dude has since become a kino machine though.
Probably one of my favourite modern actors.
island inbreeding
This is a meme. Great Britain is a large island right next to continental Europe and has been a hub of world commerce for hundreds of years. There's no way it would be significantly affected by inbreeding.
Iceland, which is much smaller and more remote, should have worse looking people by this logic, but it doesn't. It's anglo genes.
>It's true what they say: English women and English food made the Englishman the best seaman in the world
It actually isn’t. Before the industrial revolution the UK had under 10 million people while countries like France were closer to 30 million. And during WWI Britain had MORE people than France. What essentially happened is that in the space of 100 years the UK population basically quintupled because all the urban squalor had multiple children. So while countries like France had a base of 30 million people who were naturally selected for Britain had 10 million. Combined with island genetics spells disaster.
Iceland does have worse looking people though.
the small gene pool thing is a myth, according to genetic studies. The UK has as varied, if not more varied genetics than equivalent sized areas in mainland Europe.
pic related is a pretty interesting theory. An environmental influence can be so devastating that, after a few generations, it essentially becomes a "genetics"
plus it's still Cinemaphile related lol
Yeah if anything, Brits have weird genes because Romans, Gauls, Vikings stc etc have been fighting and fricking there for millennia. It's a big gene blender
All of human nature can be explained through eugenic pressure and dysgenic comfort
>bongs look like mutants
>myth
the small gene pool part is a myth, but the other factors in
sure aren't.
nobody's saying bongs don't look like mutants. nobody can lie that hard
Are you seriously trying to say they don't look like mutants? It's not just teeth, the English are comedically famous for being an ugly people.
thats just amerimutt seething
they don't look much different to the lower class whites of other nations
Why do they call him Big D, you reckon?
This is why it was so weird how he say farewell to him in the final book. This fat bastard was always a piece of shit to him, like really fricking mean and suddenly he have a change of heart. Weird as frick.
>spoiled brat acts like a little butthole
>over the course of seven years, grows up and matures
Yeah, anon, you're right, that's literally never happened before. The lack of realism is astounding
You're one of the morons that justifies bad writing and bad scenes with "well ackshually this DOES happen LOGICALLY".
The audience never EXPERIENCES that, never SEES that he grew up or bonded or made up with Harry. So it doesn't fricking land. Theoretically they made up but we wouldn't fricking know would we, which is why its FRICKING WEIRD. moron.
Harry literally saves his life at one point in the later ones. It's not much of a stretch for Dudley to grow to have some level of respect for the guy who saved his life, despite the constant bullying and abuse at the hands of the Dursleys. moron.
Wasnt there a scene in the books where Dumbledore shows up and tells Dudley his parents are treating him worse than Harry?
That he does indeed, it's one of those scenes which really shouldn't have been skipped in the movie. Not even for Dudley's character development, but for a signt of Dumbledore smugly bullying Dursleys with harmless magic and scolding them in the gentles words possible while still being intimidating.
I'd especially love to see this scene handled by Goblet of Fire director for laughs
>never SEES that he grew up or bonded or made up with Harry
Because that never happened, what the frick are you on about? Harry is confused as frick to find tea and crumpets by his door, and only when Dudley clumsily tries to say goodbye, it occurs to him that this wasn't a prank, but the dude very incompetently trying to be nice. He hadn't bothered to talk to him all summer, so he only then realizes that the Dementor thing scared him shitless and gave him a change of heart.
This is moronic.
People mature with time, it doesn't need to be spoonfed to you to believe it, unless you are profoundly moronic.
Which you are
Did you not read the book? It's 20% Dudley growing up and realizing his parents are toxic counts, 80% being saved by Harry
That was after the dementors mindraped him
harry saved his life despite all of the abuse.
that gave him a change of heart
He got scared.
That's not really that weird, Harry saved his life as other anons have pointed out and ending things on good terms is usually the best choice unless you legitimately despise each other. He also tried to be nice before this moment (would put tea in front of Harry's door). What is weird though is that they continued to have something of a relationship after that and Harry would sometimes bring his kids over. That I find odd, should've just left it at the handshake and ended the bad relationship on a decent note then gone their separate ways.
OP is literally the moment before a pivotal moment in which Harry saves his life from Dementors which leads to him reconsidering his attitude towards him.
But muggles can't see Dementors so Dudley would have just assumed Harry was fricking him up with his magic.
I don't remember the scene perfectly but I was pretty sure Dudley also saw it. Either way, he doesn't think Harry is doing it to him that much I know.
I mean he had a big change of heart after Harry saved him from the dementors. Most of his hate against Harry came from his parents anyway. After it all I do think he came to care for Harry but Vernon and Petunia even after over a decade of raising him despised his guts.
even low IQ idiots like Dudley can develop a conscience later in life and realize they treated people badly
It's the same thing as:
>wormtail works for voldemort and is a baddy
>harry saves his life (from lupin and sirius)
>many books later, harry is captured by the baddies
>wormtail feels regret when harry points that he owes him
>wormtail's hesitates, effectively letting harry escape, etc.
Rowling is trying to get across that doing nice things for bad people eventually pays off, even if it's in an unexpected way
I'd just let the dementor slowly kill him and leave
Oh good, let the Dursleys know their only son is dead; that would turn out swimmingly
I’ll offer to make another one with Petunia
>Go have fish and chips with the queen's corpse you "chav" in training!
ironic how he looks like a dweeb now
Wait, is that the limbless guy from The Ballad of Buster Scruggs?
Yes
take out my wand an magically vivisect him in front of his friends
What did the dementors show this homie?
an empty box of donuts, and a heart attack at 35
They only show memories/ones own thoughts, iirc
so what that anon said but shown in his mind? moron
Calmly say avada kedavra
i love this homie
never would i have though i'd see Taimanin Asagi on Cinemaphile
When does Longbottom say that ?
>AVADA KADABRA
That is outrageously homophobic.
>Yeah obviously, moron. Why else do you think I'd be stuck spending time with you?
>I mean to have you Dudley, even if it must be burglary
>Do you realise that using magic I could make your very wiener bend up your own ass?
Reminder that in 5th book, it was Harry who started bullying Dudley first, with Dudley only responding when Harry went too far.
Book Dudley is much different than movie Dudley, he was already maturing even before being nearly mindraped by dementors
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
But who the frick would not be mad at that?
>engorgio my dick
>engorgio it again
>a third time, just to be safe
>use my dick as a mace and proceed to smash their skulls
>call aunt and uncle and show them what happened to their son
you forgot to reducio your giant dick afterwards
>forgot
>Friends call him "Big D"
and why is your image so big, YOU FRICKING SHIT FRICK YOU
Brutal asymmetrypill
There should be a warning every time you try to invert your face
>raise wand
>hold other hand outstretched
>"accio Dudley's penis"
>Harry Potter?! More like Harry Poofter!
>Harry Potter? More like Jack-y Off-er!
>Dudley, one day I am going to turn your penis into a portkey that will transport anyone who touches it directly to a council estate within a predominantly black area of South-East London. I will not tell you when I am going to do this; it could be any day, any time. Who will be the one to activate it, I wonder? You? A girlfriend? Uncle Vernon? At any rate, it will not matter.
>LIMBUS DISPERSIMUS!
>U wot m8?
>ABRACADABRA
>Ugly, fat people, with eyes too close to each other are bad!
Would this scene/whole movie work if the cast was switched with Robert Pattinson?
>crucio! CRUCIO!
is that charlie kirk
I'd frag dudley good with a 'glass be gone' spell
Fine page, page one. in my opinion, best page on the board.
>''sorry I didn't hear you, talk to me later after I had sex''
>*walks away with my notes of Imperio and Obliviate spells*
>avada kedavra
Typical Brit phenotype. They really did send their best and brightest on the Mayflower.
You don't lol, bullies are based, I'd know because I was one. If I had a problem with you, it's because your gay little ass deserved it.
Bringing up someone’s dead mum to mock them is based?
He had it coming. Should have just not been an orphan if he didn't want to be bulied.