>Samuel L Jackson in Die Hard 3
Wasn't that the one with the jug puzzle? You know, where you have to measure 6 gallons of water with a 4-gallon jug and a 7-gallon jug.
They also forget Kratos was flanderized as frick in 2 and 3. He was always an butthole but he wasn’t the screaming murderhobo he became known as till the sequels.
My issues with the reboot is how a lot of the Aesir are characterized and just not liking the new gameplay.
I thought they could have done more with his reputation in the reboots. It is acknowledged, but I feel like it should have been more present. He wouldnt necessarily have to reverse his growth, but it would have been cool to see him use his old reputation to his advantage. Instead, all the npcs either dont know who he is or think he is a chump.
Him slipping into a raving loon who kept committing demicide is basically Greek tragedies to a T though.
The gods in Greece had been character assassinated as well, so it's a bit late to complain that the Norse gods were made to act like dicks when it's a game series about killing gods who are jerks.
Hera isn't all that desirable to me, to be quite honest. Too hung up on Zeus anyway.
My ranking of godesses:
1. Eris, Goddess of Discord.
Smug, sassy, very competitive, hot-headed, strong-willed, energetic. With an air of superiority about her, and a playful cleverness to but substance to the claim. A bit of a pariah among her fellow gods, but I'd humour her.
(And I think the way she was portrayed in Xena is just perfect, so that's what I imagine her looking like, pic related).
2. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt.
Also of animals, nature in general, and sometimes of the moon. Very tomboyish, athletic, but also possesses a certain serenity, sophistication and high-mindedness. Loves nature. Great skills with a bow. Also, her brother Apollon is a bro.
3. Aphrodite, Goddess of Love.
The hot promiscuous one. A bit of a bawd, sure, but fun to be around, to party with, and very open to the idea of sex ... all the time, anywhere. By all accounts, she looks pretty great as well.
4. Athene, Goddess of Wisdom
A bookworm, but not too introverted. Likes a bit of war as well. And all is fair in love and war.
Very cultured, very proper, quite elegant and of noble spirit.
5. Persephone, Goddess of Fertility and Spring.
Abducted by Hades and kept in the underworld, I imagine she's quite a bit of a stereotypical goth chick. But like most of them with a manic, overly happy, side to her.
Honourable mention: Ceres, Goddess of the Harvest. Hard worker, a bit of a "farmer's daughter" type.
Nyx doesn't even qualify in the first place. She's not a descendant of Chronos, but one of the primordial gods, like Gaia or Eros Phanes, directly emerging from Chaos. She's often claimed to be the mother of Uranos, which makes her the great-great-grandmother of the godesses I listed. And I'm not into GGGILFs.
Actually I was invoking Ancient Greek custom/mythology in which the person who visits your house might just be a god, so you better be nice to them or else. The moral being: be nice to your guests. But you seem not to have picked up on that.
actually the implication is that they said their local god was born.. locally. >Whilst the claim of Crete to be the birthplace of Zeus has been widely accepted, the myth that the god also died and was buried in the island is unique to Crete.
pretty sure God of war was about this
What animal did he take the shape of? This is important because it decides whether I think it's hot or not.
zues was black, the gods dont have defective pink skin, return to harmony and all shall be made whole
>zues was black
Doctor, engineer, or both?
a suv driver
swine merchant
The only black Zeus was that dude who played Deebo.
you forgot Samuel L Jackson in Die Hard 3
>Samuel L Jackson in Die Hard 3
Wasn't that the one with the jug puzzle? You know, where you have to measure 6 gallons of water with a 4-gallon jug and a 7-gallon jug.
Sparta has fallen. The gods must die
>Kratos was an incel
now so many things make sense
There's a sex minigame in pre-sọy GoW
It was in Kratos' head
>pre-onions
Angry Albino Black person was always a game for incels that couldn't handle real gameplay
yes and it was great and it was ours. Nobody wants deconstructed masculinity kratos.
it doesnt count when its a hooker
He literally fricked Aphrodite.
>He literally fricked Aphrodite.
EVERYONE fricked Aphrodite, anon.
shes even worse than a hooker
she does it for free
have a nice day
>pre-onions
>Kratos simply showing remorse now that he's old
Autists who never had wild youth seem to be the only one who have a problem with the new games
They also forget Kratos was flanderized as frick in 2 and 3. He was always an butthole but he wasn’t the screaming murderhobo he became known as till the sequels.
My issues with the reboot is how a lot of the Aesir are characterized and just not liking the new gameplay.
I thought they could have done more with his reputation in the reboots. It is acknowledged, but I feel like it should have been more present. He wouldnt necessarily have to reverse his growth, but it would have been cool to see him use his old reputation to his advantage. Instead, all the npcs either dont know who he is or think he is a chump.
Him slipping into a raving loon who kept committing demicide is basically Greek tragedies to a T though.
The gods in Greece had been character assassinated as well, so it's a bit late to complain that the Norse gods were made to act like dicks when it's a game series about killing gods who are jerks.
>newest goy of söy game make kratos confront his old self about toxic masculinity
Kek
Impregnate Zeus' wife in turn. Or one of his daughters. Aphrodite likes sex with mortal men, I hear, so she's definitely an option.
>you'll never have femdom sex with Hera
Hera isn't all that desirable to me, to be quite honest. Too hung up on Zeus anyway.
My ranking of godesses:
1. Eris, Goddess of Discord.
Smug, sassy, very competitive, hot-headed, strong-willed, energetic. With an air of superiority about her, and a playful cleverness to but substance to the claim. A bit of a pariah among her fellow gods, but I'd humour her.
(And I think the way she was portrayed in Xena is just perfect, so that's what I imagine her looking like, pic related).
2. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt.
Also of animals, nature in general, and sometimes of the moon. Very tomboyish, athletic, but also possesses a certain serenity, sophistication and high-mindedness. Loves nature. Great skills with a bow. Also, her brother Apollon is a bro.
3. Aphrodite, Goddess of Love.
The hot promiscuous one. A bit of a bawd, sure, but fun to be around, to party with, and very open to the idea of sex ... all the time, anywhere. By all accounts, she looks pretty great as well.
4. Athene, Goddess of Wisdom
A bookworm, but not too introverted. Likes a bit of war as well. And all is fair in love and war.
Very cultured, very proper, quite elegant and of noble spirit.
5. Persephone, Goddess of Fertility and Spring.
Abducted by Hades and kept in the underworld, I imagine she's quite a bit of a stereotypical goth chick. But like most of them with a manic, overly happy, side to her.
Honourable mention: Ceres, Goddess of the Harvest. Hard worker, a bit of a "farmer's daughter" type.
>No nyx
Shit list
Nyx doesn't even qualify in the first place. She's not a descendant of Chronos, but one of the primordial gods, like Gaia or Eros Phanes, directly emerging from Chaos. She's often claimed to be the mother of Uranos, which makes her the great-great-grandmother of the godesses I listed. And I'm not into GGGILFs.
>Also, her brother Apollon is a bro.
Whos' gonna tell this homie about what happened to Orion?
>Orion
The cookie?
He was a guest in my house, and so I freely gave her to him, for his use. In our culture, it is our custom to treat our guests with great hospitality.
T. Juan Miguel Hernandez
Actually I was invoking Ancient Greek custom/mythology in which the person who visits your house might just be a god, so you better be nice to them or else. The moral being: be nice to your guests. But you seem not to have picked up on that.
Absolutely pathetic reply
Well he died in that sauna so i guess karma took care of him.
Train the offspring, a demigod, against against Zeus.
>Greek
I frick my wife's son of course.
Why would you not want to be mad in this situation?
So you don't come off as a cuck
I kill Zeus and conquer olympus
>b-but you can't they're too strong
Too strong for YOU not for me.
>conquer olympus
What good does that do, anon?
It's literally just some mountain in the middle of nowhere.
The gods and their palaces/servants are there moron
read a fricking book sometime
>The gods and their palaces/servants are there moron
Not after you kill them to take over the place.
If he was a swan i laugh my ass off then divorce the prostitute.
lots of people don't know this but according to local oral tradition Zeus was buried on Crete. It is widely known he was born on Crete.
the alleged hidden implication here being that Zeus was a bronze age Greek king.
actually the implication is that they said their local god was born.. locally.
>Whilst the claim of Crete to be the birthplace of Zeus has been widely accepted, the myth that the god also died and was buried in the island is unique to Crete.
you aren't reading into the implication enough
The implication being that Zeus is dead?
Isn't that just a rumor Nietzsche made up?
"Zeus" is a proto-indo european derived god
>Dude Zeus why did you knock up my wife? XDDDD
There you go
Do me too, I want us to eat your creampies out of each other
She looks like the singer from the Cardigans
is that alias?
he should've impregnated me instead
ask my aunt if she's okay