Zoomers will never know vhs porn.
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>Porn tape gets stuck in VCR while friends are over
>Leave it there figuring I'll get it out later
>Come home and it's left on the dining table, clearly yanked out and the tape torn
The chances my dad would use the VCR were so fricking low. He never watched anything but somehow on the day my porno gets stuck in there he decides he wants to watch something.
>saturday night
>mom tells me to not stay up too late
>wait for 30 minutes
>absolute silence
>creep to the living room tv the one that has vhs plugged in
>set volume to 2
>put in the vhs
>fast forward to the good parts
>burn it in my brain
>while my hand is on the video switch and my one eye looking at the stairs
you fricking zoomers never how easy you have it
the thrill of accessing forbidden porn was something else. That rush when I just happened to have the house to myself for a little bit and calculating the time I had and if it was worth it to do a mission impossible snatch of my dad's hustlers undetected
i'm american as apple pie my friend
we used to find them wrapped in bags in the woods. pages would be all wet and stuck but you can still see s hit
>while my hand is on the video switch and my one eye looking at the stairs
I used to do this with the "Last Channel" button. I'd set it up to switch to a random cartoon or documentary incase my parents came down the stairs while I was commericals watching Girls on Wide commericals or rare cable TV softcore porn. I'd angle myself so one eye was literally on the closed basement door at all times.
I'm fairly certain the rush of sneaking to watch lewd shows at 12am once a week did more for my boner strength than the 480p poorly censored boobs on a 24inch CRT. It really was a different time. You had to earn every use of technology back then
damn dawg. are you me?
also use to do this
>parents buy movie package
>has pride channel
>at night (ALL MALE CAST) in description
>turn on gay porn and leave room
>brother has to sit with gay porn on while he is using family computer
thanks for the memory unlock
>last channel
That's what it was invented for.
>scroll through Cinemaphile
>this is fappable make mental note of channel.
>punch in safe channel.
>type in fapchannel
Youre ready.
Suffering through Dave Attell and heavy eyelids to catch the GGW commercials on Comedy Central.
>Suffering through Dave Attell
You ingrate.
>It really was a different time. You had to earn every use of technology back then
Part of the reason why Zoomers are so tech-illiterate.
>be me age 6
>lil boy
>get playboy for free through dish
>be first to wake up
>watch playboy while eating cereal
>oldest brother wakes up
>last channel back to scooby doo
>he grabs the remote
>press last channel
>he lectures me about being too young to watch this stuff
>finish my capt crunch and go back to bed to cry in shame
>next time learn to change channel
Your brother was a raging homosexual, my condolences.
layin on the couch, watching lord of the rings xxx in terrible quality, had that remote set to discovery last channel button.
I don't even watch porn anymore now that i'm all grown up. Somewhere along the way I realized I was more addicted to the adrenaline rush of almost getting caught than the softcore breasts on screen. Just watching regular hardcore porn doesn't do much for me anymore since I live alone and there's no peril of getting caught, If only my mom would burst in and catch my 30 year old ass jerking off, give some excitement to porn again.
start watching in public maybe? Or out in nature as God intended?
>Girls Gone Wild
Man, they used to just advertise and sell underage breasts out in public.
I know that feeling, acting like a Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible making sure to hear my parents snore. And moving like a ninja to watch soft core porn or Real Sex on volume 2. And if my parents left me home alone I beat my meat like a cop that deals with a resisting arrest.
this
the thrill is half the fun. basically brain cum
I did this with buttery nipple scene in Butterfly Effect
>creep to the living room tv the one that has vhs plugged in
You had more than one tv in your living room? What was plugged into the other one(s)?
Yeah as a Zoomer I get what you're saying. I've had the opposite memories. Because I have to switch from the Internet porn tabs to Minecraft as soon as someone walks in I can't play Minecraft now cause all I think about is people moaning.
For me it was finding my dad's VHS tape stash and watching it when my parents and sibling were out. Even had a couple Traci Lords ones.
My childhood best friend had an older sister Mandy who used to babysit us. One time after their parents left, Mandy had something to show us. She had broken into her parents locked porn stash.
From then on, everytime their parents left, Mandy would take us downstairs and we'd all watch porn together. I haven't thought about that in forever.
>turns on TV
>its on channel 3
>must have been watching a movie
Kids are fricking clueless morons
My dad congratulated me with finding his porn, gave me more porn, then spent a good seven years raping me and every one of my siblings. I was also the youngest. Was it my fault?
you're killing the vibe here bud
>then spent a good seven years raping me and every one of my siblings
>good seven years
You and your siblings enjoyed the raping?
I ain't neva watching porn again teddy
Not even if there's a device that fits in yah pawket and allows you to access porn at anytime ta jerk it.
He was wanting to watch his porn while you were gone, obviously.
I used to steal softcore tapes from video rental stores
got this on DVD when my last Blockbuster closed. still in the blockbuster case. busted many nuts.
haven't even seen it but I know this banger
It is a lost era.
>Lifts up her glasses
>Barely opens her eyes
>he doesn't know how to properly engage in a momentary bask
>>he doesn't know how to properly engage in a momentary bask
zoomer detected
They really don't understand simple, basic, human interaction anymore
Wrong and you're an autist putting too much stock into a throwaway post.
relax dude it doesn't mean i'm wrong about the notion in the case of zoomers, just that it may not apply to you partially. You not being one, kinda makes it worse that you can't pic up on subtle visual cues like that, to be honest.
It wasn't a genuine question, dickhead.
calm thy breasts anon
What is this myth of Millenial birthing zoomer ?
Unless you are an extreme outlier and the first of millenial and got an unwanted pregnancy at 12 birthing the last of the zoomers no millenial ever birthed any zoomer
I'm friend we zoomer we have about 10 years of age gap and couldn't have birthed none
Name of the video?
Robin Sparkles: Beach Fun 1995
Is that Brett cooper
nah, stacydonovan
Nah, it isn't. Just go on Xhamster or Xvideos, or TubePornClassic. It's all there.
>interracial
keep it.
will never know woods porn
They probably had vhs but even a 28.8 could get you a nudie pic in 96.
when I started wanking off in '99 it was to internet pics of Silvia Saint sticking aluminum cans up her pooper
Information supergapeway
millenial here, I actually did find a porno mag in the woods as a kid, me and my buddies ripped out all the nudes and distributed them among us
Same. The playboy innawoods meme is real. I still have mine along with some other vintage ones I scrapped from my buddy’s place in my same childhood neighborhood.
will never know woods porn
Millenial here, no people were still doing that anon, dial up wasn't as affordable to everyone back then, Hell I remember seeing one on the school handball court one time. Fun Times.
I downloaded porn from a bbs site back in the day. took forever for a *.gif file. took forever to load from DOS and had no idea wtf I was looking out. turned out to be balls slaming into a women's mouth.
jpegs took forever to load too. damn shit was gangster
91' here. I found a Playboy in the woods behind my old neighborhood when I was a kid. It was the January 2000 millennium issue. I still have it in a box in my closet. Great condition too.
Bullahit we stashed porn in a stump like in to kill a mocking bird.
I was born in 1989 and found a trashbag full of porn in the woods in 2002.
>be me
>walking through a rural Irish village outskirts
>cutting across fields to get home
>literally just a barren wheat field with nothing in it
>no one lives near by to make it convenient
>somehow find a porn dvd called "Goo For Two" just sitting in the middle of this heath
>desperately try to get it to work back home on the Playstation 2 to no avail
Who the frick are these people that leave porn in the wilderness??? And why a DVD? And if it's there to be dumped, why not just throw it in the bin?
You never hear of hedge porn homosexual?
Couldn't keep it at home. Left it in hedges for safety and others to also use
Paying it forward.
Ashlyn Gere was a prostitute, the best
imagine how awkward buying physical porn was
It must not be too awkward because adult video stores are somehow still fricking everywhere. Who the frick is going to those?
lonely boomer men, the kind that still buys CDs
Blows my mind. Porn is accessible from anywhere in the world, free, and with far more variety than any store is possible of offering and any sex toy or shit they provide can be discretely sent to your doorstep for less than the store will charge.
I have no idea how those places are able to exist other than being legitimate fronts to wash dirty money but even then it's not the ideal business for such an operation.
Adult Mart keeps there stores open. 56.2 million in revenue.
gays who use the gloryhole in the back
Buying adult products is the true test of if you are adult enough to buy it. If you think it's awkward or embarrassing you aren't mature enough to buy it.
Well, I guess I'm watching some Ashlyn Gere tonight.
Well it looks like I’m watching xfiles tonight
when i was 5 I found my mom and dad having sex in the living room and when my mom saw me she scream and i ran back up stairs . The next day I went to watch a movie on vhs player and when i turned on the tv and i found myself watching people that were fully painted in blue having a massive orgy in a dark room.
Is that why you're gay now?
nah thats not what turned me gay. it was my dad fricking me in the ass that turned me gay
Sheeeeeeiiiitttt.
My dad caught my gf riding me cowgirl and gave me the the thumbs up lol. To be fair it wasn't that hard to notice since I was laying on couch on the first floor in front a of a massive glass window. I didn't think he'd be home so early.
in my case it was the opposite, my mom saw me fricking my gf in the living room but i didn't know it back then. next day we had the talk lol
my sister also saw me and my gf having sex, since our bed was creaking loud and being curious to what was happening just waltzed in my room without knocking lol
you're mexican or some kind of latino aren't you?
It's weird how every millennial has a story of walking in on their parents having sex. What the frick was it with Boomers and never using locks on doors? It happened to me TWICE as a kid.
But i'm a zoomer though(I found them twice in the living room)
Boomers liked to see themselves as young and spontaneous and rebellious. Planning sex to coincide when the kids are away, locking the door, etc. would have taken all the spontaneity out of it and made them feel old.
My mom watched me frick my gf in the pool. After I came I remember glancing up and like a horror film she was standing there, in the window perfectly still no emotion. I have no idea how long she was there but she has never mentioned it and my gf didn't know till I told her weeks later.
there was an adult section in the back of my local family video but i was always too shy to walk back there. it closed like 3 years ago. it was a sad day. my dad does have a bunch of early 2000s porn on DVD
Wouldn't the title "The Bigger They Are, The Harder She Comes" make more sense?
You're thinking way too much for a porno
>me and my friends filmed skate videos on vhs cameras back in the day
>It's my friends dad's camera that he let's us borrow
>decide to watch some tapes from the other week together to edit together into an ebin skate video
>watching my friend try a three set stairs over and over
>suddenly the tape is my friends dad fricking his overweight girlfriend doggy style
>dude taped over his son's skate videos with his amatuer braphog porn
I mean he was cool because he let us use the camera and technically it's HIS camera so we didn't make a big deal but what the frick man
>"Its good to be king." He thought to himself as he stopped recording.
does that mean his son saw it? How badly did you goof on him as a bunch of little skaterats from back in the vhs day?
do 40+ year old mutts really post frogs while blabbing about their inane stories on this site? that's incredibly sad
Frogs was posted here before you ever visited my dear little zoom zoom.
Don't be quick to judge because that is your future too
He's going to transition and ack himself before he ever feels the tender touch of his third decade
Do ESL turd-worlders really get butthurt over basic-ass replies?
>Be me, first year at college, 1991
>Borrow VCR from head of college during break because I’m not going home
>Plug it in, there’s a tape in it- ‘Highlander’
>Oh cool I love that movie
>Get it rolling
>Its literal lederhosen porn shot in an alpine restaurant in Austria or Germany
>Rewind tape, eject, start watching the tapes I hired from local place
>Give VCR back a week later and say with a straight face “you left a copy of Highlander in there but I’ve already seen it so I didn’t bother watching it”
>To this day not sure if he believed me
Ray, if you’re out there, I never told anyone till now.
i feel old at 25 but there are grandpas here, but this dude is old enough to be my dad
>Ray: what a gay
>and thanks to the miracle of the internet I can now watch what I missed out on all those years ago
The story wouldn't have made me laugh if it wasn't for that lipless pepe.
lies, skater kids were fatherless dregs
the first porn I ever saw was a woman having her vegana forcibly pulled open by hooks
it was horrible. its no wonder zoomers are so fricked.
Sounds neat, what was it called?
My first one was a weird German fisting video. I’ve never recovered.
Mine too. It was a a lesbian fisting video with a girl in an FBI crop top. Merry4fun or mary4fun or something.
Mine was a video downloaded from Ares. It had Oops id did it again as background music. It probably messed me up. Some of you will understand wich one is
I had older brothers and saw stuff a 7 year old shouldn't see. Mainly Tiffany Mynx taking it up the ass, but it seems you had it worse.
All those moneyshots
>NOOOOO!
>MY FATHER'S AMATEUR PORNOS
>I LOVE YOU DAD! AND ALL THOSE MONEY SHOTS
>first internet faps were to fake pics of Britney Spears and erotic stories
Anybody remember c-s-s-a.org?
Pretty sure mine was to 30 second videos of peter north jizzing on women from sublimedirectory. They used to take an hour or so each to download with a 56k modem.
>hour or so each to download with a 56k modem.
early internet couldnt handle loads that big
IKR? Guy must own a zinc mine.
I don't know what you mean because it definitely could. I would queue them up in downloads and it was an hour or so for a video to finish on average.
>hour or so for a video to finish on average.
ya peter to
wat
Peter North is famous for taking a while to finish and shooting big loads.
I remember waiting until my parents fricked off to work to get online and download one short video almost every day. Those phone bills must have been astronomical
We had an unlimited connection by the time I was watching porn so there was no way to go over thankfully. It was just slow as frick.
i was a regular on alscan. there were some anime wallpapers down there as well
Most of my early faps were shit like naruto-hentaifan.org or slide shows of hentai buried deep on flash game websites. I was far too impatient and short on time to wait for a 3D porn clip to load back in 2005. Single pictures were usually under 10 seconds
my first exposure to porn was a VHS porno that I found hidden in the attic. That shit blew my mind, I remember how giddy and nervous I was when I first found it. I beat my meat to it a couple of times but since this was before I hit puberty, I mostly just watched it with my eyes budged wide open. Also, 90's porn is fricking kino, much better than modern shit.
the one near me caters to couples on vacation because its a tourist town. They also sell bongs and shit too. Its an independent store on fricking main street new england
the first porno i saw was the one that my mom and dad left in the dvd player. every once and a while i try to find it but I haven't been lucky yet, the first scene was a girl masterbaiting with either a very cold glass dildo or one made out of ice and another scene was her being fricked on a stone slab outside at night
>cold glass dildo
>fricked on a stone slab
You're parents were necromancers
I haven't fapped in 3 weeks and starting to get headaches, this normal?
it means your ascending, friend.
What is the point? Nihilism?
It just means you're going through withdrawal symptoms anon. Don't worry keep pushing through and don't give in, its gets way better from there.
shut up reddit
BITCHES DONT KNOW ABOUT MY LASERDISK PORN
I remember searching for game ROMs on my dad's computer at his work because we only had dialup at home, I was like 12. A pop up window came up. I couldn't figure out what the frick I was seeing. I sat there for minutes scratching my brain, i truly didnt get it. Finally I realized it was a woman sucking a large wiener in green night vision.
AI upscale has made a bunch of good stuff these days. def love watching me some retro.
One of the posts in this thread legitimately made me check up on an old Silvia Saint vid and I was pleased to find it upscaled.
oh baby. its like reliving some memories.
2000s porno never looked so goood.
I've been on a nonstop mid 2000s wank sesh since they started upscaling. I love the future
same. lol. "but I poop from there" vid was the tipping point for me.
retro porn night is great. kicking old school
>cant remember if its not today or not right now
>get fricking duckrolled.
At least I got my answer.
Eve was so cute.
Eve Lawrence has a great anal scene as well.
At the risk of looking like samegays, I liked this prostitute as well. Her massive fake breasts were amazing. She was actually roommates with Taylor Rain for the longest time. Even had a serious boyfriend (suitcase pimp). Google it zoomtards.
Very nice fake breasts. Her hat scene is so iconic. Being old enough to remember when Eve was new.
Porn from 20 years ago didn’t have all the incest, troony, and interracial shit that is pushed nonstop today. Whenever I watch porn I’ll search for “90s” or “2000s” and it’s just hot chicks with big breasts getting naked and fricking
>incest, troony, and interracial shit
I seriously hate all this shit. It's making porn not even worth watching for free.
Amateur is better but a lot of it caters to weird fetish stuff. I'm not doing no fap but I am trying to slowly wean myself off porn. I stopped watching hardcore and try to just relieve myself to softcore images. My long term goal is to try to just avoid jerking it all together. If I occasionally relapse and fap to stuff in my head thats all I ever want to fall back into.
If you get the urge. just go get your nut in the bathroom real quick with imagination. just think of some girl in a bikini with her tittayz out sucking your dick
I'm there. It's been weeks since I jerked off. I screw my wife if I feel like nutting. Having low libido but not impotence is pretty cool. I can get hard any time but I'm not constantly thinking about women and how I'm going to frick them. Women can't manipulate me.
must be nice. i can only get hard when i think of lgfs
it had those in porno stores back then. Maybe not the gay shit, but they probably kept that under the counter.
Under the counter you could buy the sickest shit if you knew the guy. Could get bestiality and semi legal cp until the turn of the century here.
>semi legal cp
Now we call it TikTok
THIS IS A JOKE JANNIES CALM DOWN
>I seriously hate all this shit. It's making porn not even worth watching for free.
Maybe that's the point, not for everyone who is pushing it but for others to drive it to disgusting that people finally wake up from their porn addiction.
apparently the production was fun too. food carts, trailers etc. now its an endless sea of women doing porn or have done porn.
not true
My Dad literally had troony porn comics 20yrs ago. Fetishistic incest stories have existed as long as written literature has existed.
>incest porn wasn't real 20 years ago
I had a huge incest kink in the early 2000s, it was hard to find anything with real actors, had to rely on a lot of hentai. Overall I grew out of it, feels like a juvenile fetish.
LARPing zoomer
>Porn from 20 years ago didn’t have all the incest, troony, and interracial shit that is pushed nonstop today
lmao this is a good bait
One thing we used to have that we can't now is actual rape scenes depicted in porn or even erotic literature, besides that not much has changed
Dude, there was a whole fricking movie series from the 80's called taboo which was about incest
and it wasn't any of this step-mom step-bro setup either that's so common now
I remember one that was really fricking great from the 80s that was aunt-nephew and then a reluctant aunt-mom-son threesome in the very next scene that fricking drained my life force
My dad had stacks of videos and magazines and a box full of toys. It was weird finding those and knowing that they were all in my mom.
>parents rented a movie
>wasn't allowed to watch the movie
>instantly knew it had nude/sex
next morning 20mins before the bus, popped it in vhs and fast forward as fast as I could to find the part
I also memorized where they left off so I rewind, damn I was smart
When I was like 15, I found it, I found my moms buttplug, the base was like as wideer than my fist.
How do you know it was your mom's?
Smelled like mom
>zoomers will never know Talk Sex
?si=sth2c8JNnzSXjMaU
>had to share the bedroom with my younger brother
>knew at about 12 am on thursdays there was erotic softcore on some cable channel
>had to wait until he felt asleep, put the tv on mute and fap
insomniac is like a time capsule of the last days of life before cellphones. They were around but still uncommon. You even see people smoking in bars.
>bar/resturaunt area around 10-11ish
>hey look that guys on a phone!
>Bad Mama Jama Busts Out (1989)
He would be a 2/10 incel in the current dating scene.
Imagine growing up now. You have unlimited HD porn for free, that can't be healthy. I'm not exactly a luddite but we should reconsider some stuff, it's just not compatible with human nature.
we don’t care, we have top class troony porn
Actually aside from Khloe Khay before the implants there are zero good trans performers.
The amateurs suffice
Nothing is hotter than a straight porn star trying out trannies for the first time. Zoomies win
>visited my aunt and uncle every week as a kid
>discover their big box of porno tapes in their closet
>next visit I bring a blank tape and switch it for a porn
>had 2 vhs machines but have to wait til everyone was out to copy the tape
>get greedy and start taking 3 tapes at a time
>finished copying everything before the summer ends
I felt like a goddamn criminal mastermind.
Funny thread, funny reply. Brings memories of waiting hours to download a single video on the early stages of the internet
For me it was
>right before school, order 7 hours of porn on PPV
>turn TV to Nickelodeon, shut off the TV
>however, set the VCR to record chanel 111 instead of 48
>come home from school to hours of kino
>even the ads were kino as they were all porn ads for other movies to rent
I did this several times and got beat for it beacause it was like 60 bucks for each porn block but it was worth it.
kek. how old were you?
11 probably
in fact I still have all those VHSs, maybe if I wasn’t lazy I’d convert them to digital unironically for posterity
in fact, I recall several times I’d order porn at like 2am and stay up all night watching if it was Saturday so a few times on the recording it would suddenly switch from the porn to As told by Ginger or something for 30 seconds because I’d hold the remote like a schitzo and if I heard someone going to the bathroom or a creak in the house I’d switch the channel until the coast was clear
>find dad's tape stash
>learn about Max Hardcore
Any Gaugebros in the house? I guess she's not doing too good. Hope she isn't living underground with the mole people like that other prostitute
She's still about though not doing porn. i think she's just living a normal life. She's on instagram and twitter. Guess she's a gamer because her amazon wishlist is asking for a new gaming pc.
damn. one of the best. that couch and dildo in mouth one. top kino
>Gauge
One of my first crushes. I remember renting her "Gangland" video where she took on a dozen black wieners. In the BTS scene at the end of the tape, they showed her calling her Mom and asking her if she should do interracial?
It cracks me up because she's already on set. But also she called her Mom for reassurance. I'm pretty sure Gauge was married too! But she called her Mom, not her cuck, lol.
>one of my first crushes I remember renting her "Gangland" video where she took on a dozen black wieners
jesus is this where you gooners began? i cant believe how fricked your brain would be consuming this shit at a young age
You zoomers literally have access to pornography on your phone 24/7. That destroys the brain faster than having to find a porn VHS to watch. They don't sell that shit at Blockbuster.
jordan capri had a worse fate, last I saw she was living in some guys garage after being homeless for ages
Shame, I've enjoyed many of her kinos over the years. Drug addiction I'm guessing
gauge babysitter
frick that shit was amazing
We need a stead and reliable source of upscalled porn
I need to learn how to do it myself. Still waiting for shitloads of my favourite 2000s vids to get an upscale.
Modern porn is terrible. It's always selfies now so they're poorly lit, weirdly angled and too tightly framed and they release like one pic per sporadic update in one of the 3 samey poses they know in their bathroom or bedroom. 2000s porn was in exotic locations, professionally shot and every regular update was dozens of pics & a couple vids too.
>Modern porn is terrible
Yep, it's garbage. They make more of it than ever yet less than a handful is actually worth watching.
And the fricking loud as frick camera taking pictures
Shoutout to Scoreland and Southern-Charms
Those were the good old days. There was a lot less interracial. Something happened maybe a decade or 15 years ago where interracial exploded.
the internet used to be only for white people and slants
Best bush?
I remember Demi Moores huge unkempt bush.
Jeb
My comment is kind of a general responce to everyone complaining about the state of modern porn. I do think porn is likely heavily driven by consoomer demand and the public is now so saturated in easy access and cheap porn the content creators are having to ramp everything up. Everything is more degenerate and over the top to try and stay cutting edge. I really feel like if guys just wanted more "tame" stuff where there is a super simple plot where a guy in decent shape with a mustache fricks a woman with giant breasts then we woud still mostly just be getting that. Now we've got trannnies, grannies, midgets, blacked gangbangs, incest porn, nasty fetishes, cam girls fricking dildos . . .
And the women who get popular can just drop it for onlyfans and get more money from just posting fingering instead of having to participate in blacked bukkake gangbang.
I think you're wrong in assuming demand dictates the market in porn. The market itself is basically a just distributing it to people for free. Demand is irrelevant. They'll push whatever they want to on people since most aren't paying for it anyway.
You're incorrect. The reason why niche fetish material is produced way more in porn is because that's the only shit people are paying to see. Nobody is shelling out 20 bucks to see a mustache guy with a big dick have vanilla sex with a random big breasts girl. People will pay to see a dainty twink get his butthole gaped by a huge black wiener because you don't find that everywhere.
The lack of pregnant midget porn is alarming
Porn threads are unironically kino and wholesome. The mods should always allow one. Actual porn boards are too cum-brained for intellectual discusion about porn.
Now the cute/hot ones go to onlyfans with their shitty angles while old videos with hot b***hes only exist in the internet in a 240p......
And get way more money than doing ten movies for a studio.
One year in college, we got a letter from Xfinity because one roommate was pirating too much porn. They had a list of everything he torrented which included midget porn.
Kek. I had a roommate in college that ran some porn sites/ads out of his bedroom. Had 6 computers/hard drives set up and a fricking couch to sleep on. Dude was rich AF and still slept on the couch, lol.
Neither will you, it was too dangerous to buy one of these when we were young. Thank god for softcore and those cable porn channels.
The softcore girls in the 90s and early 00s were hotter than most of the movie star actresses who were being presented as sex symbols by Hollywood
>2015, be me etc
>have to go to Saturday detention for I can't even remember what
>mostly nogs I know from class there
>sophomore girl 2 years younger than me also there
>she's 6'4 or some shit I don't even know I can't remember if I asked her but she was fricking huge, and not just tall, fat ass and breasts
>Starts telling me her whole life story about ridiculous crap that I didn't care about
>detention ends, never speak with her again
God frick I was so dumb.
Do you have any other tall girl webms?
*cough* behemoth *cough*
Doesn't she do porn?
She does OF like every decently attractive woman under 30
Same thing
My sisters don't.
the other option was quite grim
I love tall chicks with big breasts
When I was in grade school one of the girls who was already pretty tall went 5000% puberty in 6th grade and was over 6' don't remember her exact height but they gave her a different desk that didn't have the chair connected so she could fit. Her breasts probably weren't even that big (probably a D or so) but they seemed fricking huge because nobody else had them at that age. She also had weird body hair on her arms, breasts and upper lip. Was bullied kinda hard ngl but she was lolbig. Probably could have made a good porn career tho.
why didnt the biggest girl simply beat up the smaller kids?
I miss stores. Now you need to deal with shady as frick transaction providers to buy your hardcore bdsm stuff...
Me on the left
I found a VHS in my dad's collection that was titled "The Penetrators" and I thought it was a superhero movie or something
Tangentially related
>be me as a kid
>get book learning about the differences between boys and girls
>read that when a boy has his first ejaculation it means he is a man
>my moron brain concludes that this is something that happens on its own like a period and is meant to be a milestone in life
>have been jacking of like a spider monkey for years at this point
>oh shit my parents must think there’s something wrong with me
>go to the bathroom, beat off and nut
>yell for mom
>LOOK MOM MY FIRST EJACULATION!
my first nut stung. it was mostly clear. grandmas house summer before 8th grade
If it stung imagine how gramma felt.
underrated
boys will be boys
For me, it's
Wow. Ashlyn Gere is great, not that I condone pornography. The goat.
Had a friend in middle school who told me his mom - hottest mom in town, traditional but pretty with huge real breasts - and dad made homemade porno movies. Was all set to screen them for me and I forget what happened but never made it. I think he got a girlfriend and friendship tapered off.
?si=dMQ39TpHoLp9Cp7q
>when I was 12~ I would always pose in chat rooms as a “lesbian” so I could talk to other lesbians
>as an adult realize I was just talking with some other kid or a fat old groomer and not lesbians
Pretty standard imo.i even got called out by other dudes for my shitty rp when I was 11
I remember being 13-14 on Kazaa and searching for videos of girls my age. Had absolutely no clue that was illegal. Thank god I never found any on there
I did the SAME EXACT THING but limewire. Never occurred to me that was wrong or bad til I was an adult and randomly remembered that. In fact it was me and my friend after school or whatever at his house. Imagine if we got his dad v& lmao
>Thank god I never found any on there
sure anon. sure.
Sure m8 sure
I bought a porn VHS tape from my friend in high school one year. Might have a paid a few bucks for it.
Get home. Put it in. Don't know what to expect.
And...
It's Max Hardcore.
Yikes.
>1993
>trying to watch porn was irl mission impossible
Zoomers will NEVER understand.
Jesus. Reading all of this. Makes me miss the old days. Yes nowadays it could be easier to get porn. But somehow the thrill of the hunt is gone.
Still, there is lots of Lost porn.
Not porn. But to date I am looking for nude scenes from 70s and 80s horror movies.
they will never know cereal box dvd porn
Face looks like a dude, the rest is 10/10
my dad has a collection of old betamax porn but our player is broken
for me, it was zone and ben 10 shit on the home pc, having to alt tab to desktop and pretending the virus was from my sister playing club penguin
>friend and I are 13
>borrow his uncles computer since on deployment to Iraq
>find a video file in a "work" folder
>it's the salty milk video
He mentioned it to his uncle when he came back and apparently he said he had no idea and guys from his base always borrowed his computer and yada yada. Then he destroyed the laptop kek
Fella I've jerked it to the exact frame in Who Framed Roger Rabbit where it shows a full frontal upskirt of Jessica wearing no panties, which they removed starting with the DVD rerelease
My uncle had a copy of Lifeforce. Alien chick gets off the table. Fully nude. I was wowed.
But then he had Color of Night as well. I wanted Jane March. I thought she was so hot.
>Ashlyn Gere
Based. Might I also recommend:
>PJ Sparxx
>Danielle Rogers
>Debi Diamond
>Shayla Laveux
>Nina Hartley
>Anita Blond
>Christy Canyon
Nina H is still going too
Also
>Laurel Canyon
>Blondie Bee
>Raven
All these chicks that were sex goddesses and are now fat housewives and HMO receptionists and shit
Julian and T.T. Boy!!
Is it bad I recognize the dudes but not the women?
Porn meant more when you had to work for it. Now lil zoomies have access to HD streaming porn 24/7 from the cradle and it has turned them troony and homosexual. I'm the good old days we had built-in limiters.
Zoomtards cannot even fathom this concept. It's like trying to explain electricity to ancient cave men. Frick em!
Cinemaphile loves the new meme "gooning". But like everything, do not know where the term comes from. It's the inside joke of the film "Goonies". Because back in the day, the only thing kids found treasure hunting, was a box of porn in the woods.
No lie! It was a time honored tradition that you left porn in the woods for the next generation of Goonies. There's too much disrespect ITT. Young punks!
I remember when I was like 14 or 15 my grandparents had a video store and they had pornos. Before then I would hang out around the store and walk past the porn rack and pretend like I wasn’t looking at them. One day I mustered up the courage to take one of the dvds and decided to watch it with my brother and cousins. We all jerked off our little dicks together. The next day out of shame I ripped the dvd apart and threw it into some bushes outside my home.
>The next day out of shame I ripped the dvd apart and threw it into some bushes outside my home.
>4th grade
>Find national geographic
>Find breasts in it
>Still too young to know what jacking off was
>Three dudes who were on all the sports team did.
>Think I'm gonna be cool by telling them I know where to see boobies
>Three of them get caught in a circle jerk to a national geographic
>They tried to blame the old librarian saying she made them do it
>Being southern Baptist Texas elementary they get expelled and their families kicked outta the local church
>One moves away
>45 years later still jack off to the thought of an old librarian forcing me to jack off to national geographic magazines
>45 years later still jack off to the thought of an old librarian forcing me to jack off to national geographic magazines
This sounds like a Stephen King story.
>45 years later
homie this happened in the 70s? What's your favorite decade?
The 80's were something else. It's weird how accurate and far off movies made today showing the time are.
>how accurate
>and far off
Care to give some examples?
try this
Looks like Wannabe Black Rain.
I am in my 30s and never knew VHS porn. You're just old.
Well, technically it's called Dad's secret collection.
What was ur fav studio?
Been trying to find as many of these as I can, though I really only care about the story-based ones.
For me it’s Ed Powers and the Dirty Debutantes series.
I liked the updated version called Girlsdoporn
Only this time instead of a 3 incher teens got a 10 incher
They all went to prison
>summer 2003
>me and friend find a stack of vhs tapes in his dads closet
>its porn
>spend every afternoon watching them and jerking off in his bedroom using a mattress as a wall between us so its not as gay.
>burn thru the stack pretty quick
>one day we start looking for more material in his dad's stuff till we find a tape inside a plastic bag, hidden behind some shoes
>no cover and no label
>we go to his room, set up the mattress and he puts the tape on
>as usual he fast forwards it to see what whats actually on it, tho we are pretty sure its more porn
>we finally see a picture and he presses play
>looks like shitty homemade footage
>camera pointed up and recording a ceiling fan
>the ceiling fan its eerily familiar
>oh no
>next thing we see is his dad walk into frame naked and squats over the lens spreading his ass cheek apart
>friend screams and pushes the mattress over me, knocking me off the chair
>"anon you gotta get out"
> leave the house and never speak of it again
After that day I never was invited back to his house and we eventually stopped talking altogether.
I dont think the tape was meant to be sexual. I think the man was just tryna take a look at his butthole
and a mirror wasnt enough. He was a fat guy.
Why would he keep and hide the tape of his butthole if there wasn't something weird going on with it.
Jaysis Crikes and all the saints of heaven holy shit
>zoomers will never know an objectively inferior form of entertainment
Oh no.
Guess I'll just have to settle for the literal millions of videos I can watch in an instant on my phone.
>b-but t-that does- i-its SOULLESS!!!
I'll tell you what, boomer: I'll beat my meat to "vintage" just for you.
>watch in an instant on my phone.
Imagine actually wanting to watch videos and movies on a small ass fricking phone screen
It's porn you moron
Delayed gratification is absolutely crucial for forming core memories Zoom Zoom. Anticipation is the best spice. Too much of something too fast burns you out.
I have over 3 terrabytes of porno movies saved to my external hard drive. Ask me for a title between 1970 and 2000, and I'll probably have it.
No compilations/best-ofs though. Those are trash.
Do you have any 80s or 90s Taylor Wane?
Yes I like bimbos don't get mad
Asspiring Actresses (1989)
Streetwalkers (1990)
Assault with a Friendly Weapon (1991)
Blonde Ambition (1991)
Another Dirty Western (1992)
Batwoman and Catgirl (1992)
Return of the Bimbo (1992)
Sexcalibur (1992)
Any of those?
>Streetwalkers
Yes.
>Another Dirty Western
Also yes.
Do you have Star Babe (1977)?
Italy made the best porn.
>first exposure to porn was the TEMP folder on the family pc
I guess that means my dad was cranking it on the family pc
X rated videos were only technically legal to buy in 2 states in my country. While you could get ripped off and buy under the counter porn in most cities like a degenerate animal in a shady adult store by all means you could, but if you wanted to peruse huge selections at your leisure in massive warehouses of porn you'd have to make a several hundred km pilgrimage to our nations capital to do so.
It was like a quest many young men went on, a right of passage. I remember those trips quite fondly actually, it wasnt really all about buying fap material, there was always some other reason for going on the trip, but you always ended up at the porn stores.
Are you guy gonna post them or what
Which is the funniest?
Pirates is basically a comedy
You're about 25 replies left to extinction
Let it die
I am a big fan of Japanese porno mags from the 60s-80s. It's almost impossible to find scans online but when I go to japan I'm going to hunt some down.
I never needed porn growing up. My stepsister and me were sexually active from the age of seven. Other kids were looking at magazines and at thirteen I had a face full of pussy and ass.
My stepsister tried that shit too. Our parents wouldn't let us sleep in the same bed together anymore. But despite her getting naked in front of me and playing with my dick everytime we were in the hot tub, I knew the rules.
How old was she? Are you two the same age?
I'm married and I still look at porn. It's different from actually having sex. Porn is an escape.
I can see how that would happen. When I was 12 I basically had to pry a 9 year old girl off me who wanted to do naked stuff. I was freaked out and thought she was too young.
Yeah I did this with my newborn baby sister when I was 24. Total prostitute.
i almost had that but my fricking sister always ended it early and only when she was fat and ugly and old did she decide to start coming onto me again
Stop watching porn and accept Jesus into your lives.
One of the most difficult part about quitting porn are the storylines. Like I'll start deleting bookmarks and then see "Lemon Stealing prostitute Punished!" and become intrigued.
At a certain point it becomes a question of Christian values, as well. There's nothing in the commandments about jerking it to porn but
>THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
is right fricking there and this prostitute stole the fricking lemons right on camera.
Porn? Miss me with that gay shit. For me it's erokino
This feels like some weird joke since literally all of Brian Paulin's other films are dark, fricked-up, nonsensical gorefests.
Does anyone have a link for this?
You can probably download it free off of V**tage E***ica F**um
Why exactly did you censor that
Mods may think I’m advertising when I’m really just giving a rec.