Cast it.

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gallant dreams of holding his oneitis's hand while Goofus is balls deep inside her

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine having internalized cuckoldry. Zoomers are doomed

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine having internalized cuckoldry. Zoomers are doomed

      Goofus jokes about fricking Gallant's oneitis
      Gallant projects his cuck fantasies

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      Goofus jokes about fricking Gallant's oneitis
      Gallant projects his cuck fantasies

      you're fricking losers, and everyone in society should shun you if not actively cause you harm.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Goofus makes mean jokes on the internet, Gallant cries about them in a Cinemaphile post like a homosexual.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      basically
      >go through life being the good boy gallant
      >do everything the boomers say and grindstone and respect wamen
      >find out too late goofus always wins

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Next time don't be a sheep and do everything people say

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >comparing apples to oranges
    Dum

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      How the frick do you share an apple

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Goofus seems more of the one to carry a knife on him

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >How the frick do you share an apple
        ok now your turn

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      peaches

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      GODDAMNIT

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Top post

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus as Trump, Gallant as Biden or Obama.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Goofus doesn't take a salary because he cares about the governments bottom line and loves this country.
      >Gallant spends $40,000 on hotdogs from Chicago with walnut sauce and says Trayvon Martin could've been his son despite never having sexual intercourse with a woman.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        doesn't take a salary because he cares about the bottom line and loves his country
        yeah instead he just takes classified war plans because he cares about his country a whole lot... but still a bit less than those documents are worth to the Saudi government.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >the best they can come up with is he took plans he already read like literally every other president including biden

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Your post is a big “things that make you go frrrrt”

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >gallant saves his plums in the icebox for later
    >goofus eats the plums. they are so sweet. and so cold

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Goofus takes the last peach as a fun snack as he leaves for work
      >Gallant leaves the last peach for his wife and kids.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Ackchually i believe goofus used the peach in his smoothie

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        a daring synthesis

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus is white, Gallant is black and their parents are drag queens.

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Chris Pratt and Idris Elba
    Tell me which is which chuds

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Matt Damon as Goofus
    Ryan Gosling as Gallant

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Someone has to take the last apple

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      And they should feel guilty when they do

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        No. The only time you should feel guilty is if you eat more than your fair share.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        t. fat piece of shit that ate the first 9 donuts

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      nice try satan

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Burgess Meredith as Goofus
    Steve Buscemi as Gallant

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    gallant preps the goofus

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Adam Sandler as Goofus
    Tom Hardy as Gallant

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus frequents Cinemaphile and /misc/.
    Galllant frequents /r/marvel and /r/news.

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's the same kid in all the pictures

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s because the line between good and evil runs through every human heart. It’s not an uncommon idea.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        When I was in the army, I didn't even think about getting a tattoo until near the end of my deployment. I've seen and done some horrible things in my life so when I came back to the states I did a lot of volunteer work which prompted me to get two tattoos of the words "Gallant" and "Goofus" in chinese on my left and right wrists so that I can remind myself that I am capable of doing both good and bad things.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          you jerk off with goofus dont you?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >when I came back to the states I did a lot of volunteer work
          I lol everytime.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I've seen and done some horrible things in my life

          All in the service of Israel. Good goy.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            these are the people we share this board with

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              lurk for 2 years, newbie

              A new Mario 2d game was announced in which you can transform into an elephant. In Cinemaphile, there's this meme "Mario if he x", which I don't like, but that's not the case. Someone said "Mario if he redeemed", obviously referring to the Indian scammer meme. He also posted pic related.

              And then this guy comes and says
              >Only Jesus can redeem, Rajesh
              Feels like they began posting here one week ago

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            lurk for 2 years, newbie

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Garrant

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          bro that says Goober and Gay Ant
          t. leaf

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous
        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          What does 平等 拪牲 mean

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            *平等 牺牲

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >When I was in the army
          you gonna drop a recruitment link as well glowie

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Goofus and Gallant aren't names, they are roles that anyone can fill based on the choices that they make.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Goofus is the dog

  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Where can I find a collection of these?

  15. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >"The Goofus people demand their place in the sun and the right to exist. We must once and for all answer the question of the Gallant problem, and impose a devastating final solution!"

  16. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    top right pic looks like hes giving the sermon on the mount.

  17. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofusbros...

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      This one isn't even goofus' fault

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        it is
        squirrels can sense that goofus is a bad egg

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I blame his parents for naming him Goofus

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            What's Goofus' last name?

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              Mario

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nominative determinism is too powerful

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Shitheel. Goofus Shitheel. Gallant Fatwiener.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          squirrels don't eat eggs

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is true. animals are chill around saintly people

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        its true, but its fricking annoying when they take their time getting the frick out of the road because they know you'll stop/swerve.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's just sneaky, he's going to rape this squirrel.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Goofus has the spirit of the hunter - prey fears him
      >Gallant has the spirit of the virgin - prey pays him no mind
      Goofus is a Chad

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >goofus eats the meat
        >gallant eats the bugs

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I feed the squirrels in my yard. They recognize me as a food-provider, and wait
      for me at my sliding glass patio door. When I open the door, they don't run away in fear. I bet I could get them to eat out of my hand. But I'd be a bit worried about contracting some squirrel disease.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        my mom started feeding em and i warned her she would get climbed and bit if she kept it up and thats just what happened yesterday

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Keep an eye on her. After such an assertive display of dominance your mom might start sleeping with one of them.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            *climbs and bites you*

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              uwu

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        homie that's nuts

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Goofus chasing down the invasive grey squirrel
      >Gallant helping the invaders

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      homie IM NUTS

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        'm

  18. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >goofus fricks his wife
    >gallant has an open relationship

  19. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    No.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Is she the philosopher of the Goofus-pill?

  20. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      good. stupid birds.

  21. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I mean unless you have a knife how do you share an apple

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can see he already cut the apple. It's from a time when knives were popular children's toys.

  22. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Kevin Hart and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

  23. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Goofus chooses green, Gallant chooses purple.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Ban purpleshits from this thread.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Frick you, you purple Black person homosexual

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        you saying they administer each others' daily dosage? kinda homo

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off Gallant's head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price.

  24. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Goofus believes that we should share
    >Gallant believe that Karadzicu Vodi Srbe Svoje. Nek Se Vidi Nikog Se Ne Boje.

  25. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Who is Goffus to Ben Shapiro's Gallant?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Ben Shapiro's Gallant
      More importantly who plays Abby Shapiro?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Matt Walsh

  26. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cast it

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      nice

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Ben Shapiro's Gallant
      More importantly who plays Abby Shapiro?

      Clearly Abby Shapiro should play Jucika

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Jucika's nose is tiny tho.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Use CGI (computerized goyim imitation) to get rid of it.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            based
            replacing acronyms with moronic jokes is my favorite

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >computerized goyim imitation

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      post the one that makes manlets seethe

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I love her

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Cast it

        jucika a cute
        CUTE!

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          jucika sex

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      FRICK YEA. JUCIKA

  27. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >goofus wins in 2016
    >gallant wins in 2020 and 2024

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >2024
      If gallant wins in 2024 then we know that 2020 was absolutely not won legit

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        We're about 13 years too late to think anything is ever going to be legit in the US.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizens_United_v._FEC

        This was the point where the last of the checks and balances of the united state were vaporized and the rich gained complete and total control of the country. You have zero political capital unless you can subsidize the existence of dozens of senators.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Goofus wins in 2024, term limits are abolished (the israelites' tool to get rid of popular presidents) and he's able to lock up all the anti-freedom libtards to fix the country.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        So in other words, prelude to dictatorship

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >muh fascists
          Libtard shills have nothing else to fall back on, do they? The system is broken. It was clear during his first term that Washington is rigged to prevent anyone from really making a difference. When he wins again he needs a period of time where he can actually clear away enemies of America. Rebuild the system so biased fake news bullshit and lying politicians can't flood the media.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >lying politicians flood the media
            So Goofus. What about putting inept family members into positions of power? I can't keep it straight. Is that good or bad?

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              If you can't trust anyone outside your family to do the right thing, yeah it's perfectly valid. Politicians need to be vetted before being allowed to run, to determine they actually have the country's best interests in mind. Same thing with media outlets. Places like CNN should be regulated so they're not spreading biased lies.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                But Goofus's family can't be trusted, just like Goofus. Being a sycophant isn't good for the country, it's just good for Goofus's cronies. Neither Goofus nor Gallant should be legible to be president due to their age. They are clearly too young, and out of their minds. And of course both are guilty of stealing classified documents. The fact you think Goofus is a good choice is speaks volumes on your ability to absorb propaganda.

  28. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is Highlights Magazine still around?
    I think I still have my old issues from the late 90’s and early 2000’s in a box somewhere.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Highlights for Children, often referred to simply as Highlights, is an American children's magazine. It began publication in June 1946, started by Garry Cleveland Myers and his wife Caroline Clark Myers in Honesdale, Pennsylvania. It currently has two million subscribers

      Wtf, how is such a niche magazine still running? Is it just bible boomers buying it for their sheltered kids?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Dentist's waiting rooms

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not that I ever saw them much anymore but all the magazines in waiting rooms I did see disappeared during covid. Now it's flat screen TVs mounted to the walls (usually turned off)

  29. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >goofus is a Black person
    >gallant worships Black folk

  30. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >goofus is ill prepared and has to make a pipe out of an apple
    >gallant is well prepared and gets everyone lit with his fat spliff

  31. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gallantbros, we went off the deep end

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I like em both, good whiskey neat, harsher stuff with ice or even cola.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        i do the opposite FRICK YOU

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I guess they drink their whisk(e)y out of scissors? Dumbass.

  32. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    We're talking apples and oranges here

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thats nuts

  33. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Jason Bateman and Will Arnett

  34. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus is a chad

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      the chad goofus vs. the virgin gallant

  35. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >naming you're child goofus
    crackers deserve the rope

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      goofusarius jackson please

  36. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I used to read goofus and gallant as a kid, I modeled my behavior after gallant Bc I trusted that in the message that if you treat people right they will treat you the same, this is simply not true. Every individual would be better off taking advantage of any opportunity for their own ends, because practically if you don’t, others will. If I ever have children of my own, I will teach them that this black and white morality at best is only useful in a white Christian nation, and at worst is a tool instituted by the ahem “powers that be” to hold white people to higher standards while the world steps all over them 🙂

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Based. But this all stems from Semitic slave morality (israelite lies). I don't think it has any place even within a white ethnostate, however in such a state it is needed less simply because of greater social cohesion and implicit mutual respect.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      you're supposed to be Gallant for your friends and Goofus to everyone else

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        > you're supposed to be Gallant for your friends and Goofus to everyone else

        White Christians are no better that’s why I hesitate to name the israelite, although the evidence certainly points that way. But the point being that the social decay is deeply engrained in the white Christian too. All in all you the healthiest and most practical way to look at things is to always do for yourself. Wether that’s hedonism or stoicism, whatever makes you most fulfilled, not “the right thing to do” because it’s a total joke on people who ascribe moral rules to this purgatory dystopia earth we actually exist in.

  37. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    was goofus just a nihilist?
    >some goofus's just want to watch the world burn

  38. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I thought you couldn't compare apples and oranges?

  39. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus - Daniel Day Lewis
    Gallant - Jeff Bridges

  40. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Goofus tells Gallant what to do next when Gallant was going to ask anyways
    >Gallant would offer Goofus the last apple anyways.
    Goofus gives Gallant what he wants and Goofus does whatever he wants so it's a mutual goal. They'd be good friends.

  41. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Paul Dano playing both roles.

  42. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    How do these G&G threads always get so many replies? lol

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Goofus sages and CP spams G&G threads. Gallant provides insightful posts and dank memes.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >How do these G&G threads always get so many replies? lol
      for me
      its goofus

  43. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Michael Cera and Michael Cera
    You may not like it, but I’m right.

  44. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Goofus
    Gene Hackman

    >Gallant
    Anthony Hopkins

  45. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >goofus
    me
    >gallant
    any numale off the street

  46. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  47. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  48. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    The reality of the matter is goofus is the one who's going to get all the girls. Gallant is nice and caring, but goofus lights their fire. He treats them bad, and they love it. He is a handsome go-getter who takes what he wants and apologizes to no one. Goofus has true power. Goofus has the skills to be ruthless in business while gallant will waste his life working hard for meager pay, trying and failing to court women who will think he's swell, until goofus chews them up and spits them out.

    Gallant's ultimate fate is settling with a woman in her mid 30s who dreams of goofus

  49. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus: a white male

    Gallant: a black female

  50. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus became the CEO of a Fortune 500 company
    Gallant stocks shelves at the local
    Walmart

  51. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus gets all the b***hes.
    Gallant is obviously a homosexual.

  52. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cast it

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I'll certainly be *it* with the onion sisters now
      >while choking his chicken
      how was this allowed

  53. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is anyone that takes the last apple an butthole? So whenever you buy apples you're really getting one less than you paid for. But then, really, if that apple is unavailable, then the apple before that is actually the last apple. But this eventually makes every apple the last apple. According to the logic presented in this image, nobody gets any apples.

  54. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goofus and gallant

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Is that her husband's dick or is he legless

  55. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    edward norton and brad pitt

  56. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Giving the masses what they want doesn't make you a good leader. It just makes you their slave. It *looks* as if he's a good leader, but all he's doing is being active in being an employee for the masses who can only harshly demand thing.

    Or in other words, asking, "What do you want to do next?" is just letting the people you lead be passive and demanding, while you solve their problems.

  57. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >gallant saves the last peach
    >goofus makes a peach smoothie

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