My heart aches because there's nothing as good as this movie and I crave more. There's nothing that's shot as well with such an engaging story. A bunch of bastards are gonna reply to this and the kind ones will tell me to watch old movies but I don't want to watch old movies that have terrible fidelity and mostly lame framing and composition, or at the very least boring stories.
I wish I could love something as much as this but I can't.
This isn't bait frick you.
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Excalibur
Conan The Barbarian
Bram Stoker's Dracula
If you want something newer, check out The First King, Tale of Tales and Coriolanus.
The first king is on my list, I hope it's good
It is. Have you seen Apocalypto?
very cool film
That one's okay, I should probably watch it drunk and high and see if it gets me there. Thinking about it it does have a lot of cool elements so I take your point but the whole thing about it being about Mexicans and the pregnant woman giving birth doesn't do it for me as much as Vikings. Plus the dialogue in the Northman, like the speech the father gives before getting beheaded, is part of what I value and Apocalypto is pretty silent. But good suggestion for sure
the northman was a live-action generic shonen anime.
Is that why I loved it
SOON
https://www.focusfeatures.com/nosferatu
That movie sucked balls
I tried to like this movie but as soon as I saw actors with braces on their perfect white teeth I stopped watching it.
That was a valkyrie you mong
Lmao they aren't braces you ignoramus, do you really think some as detail obsessed as Eggers would just have them cheesing with braces? What's next, carrying around a Starbucks cup?
>The Valkyrie who carries Amleth away does not have braces. They've excavated Viking skulls that have horizontal grooves carved into their teeth. And the current favorite historian's hypothesis is that it was just something to look cool, to look badass, and that they filled those grooves with some kind of pigment.
So the final scene?
Watch Rome
This is why everyone hates you Rometards
Like the show?
Yeah, I would say it's highly likely it scratches the itch
You blacken your eyes with soot like a prostitute, don't you anon
Rome isn't even a relevant suggestion but everywhere you go you must ROOOOOME
Domina's better by the way
>Domina better than Rome
I know you find the lack of diversity in Rome to be problematic, but let's not get crazy here anon
Rome is a violent, dramatic take on ancient history, and the writing isnt some shakespeare bullshit, that's irrelevant how moron?
First of all, a decent not great tv show is not comparable to a cinematic masterpiece where every frame is a work of art. It's a nonsequitur suggestion. We're not just thinking of any and every period piece here
As for the show itself, Rome is an unrealistic, ahistorical presentation of history that focuses on the two least interesting characters, is badly written and got canceled after 2 seasons. Domina is a much better acted show and every character is interesting. It will also be getting more than 2 seasons 🙂
NTA but I could never finish Rome because the foids are unbearably cringe.
Too realistic for you lol ?
Eh. Annoying as IRL foids are, the ones in Rome are like a worst of.
Domina doesnt look half as good as Rome and Rome is more realistic, just because the show took total liberty with character interactions/events doesnt mean it isnt the single greatest portrayal of what life back then was like back then. Idc if caesar was boinking servilia and atia was actually a conservative, unpoliticsl woman, the show is realistic to life in ancient rome
Shit characters on Rome:
>Pullo & Vorenus (the main characters lmao), potato-faced, uninteresting
>Octavia, ugly, bad actress
>Second iteration of Octavian, totally different looking/acting dude for what is only supposed to be a small timejump, also he's terrible
>Cleopatra, literally ethnic (wrong) and ugly
>Vorenus's wife, ugly harpy and the actress is insufferable everywhere she goes
Good characters on Rome:
>Julius Caesar
>Mark Antony
>Brutus
>Atia
Shit characters on Domina:
>
Good characters on Domina:
>Livia, powerhouse acting and super charismatic
>Gaius, perfect
>Even their younger versions in the first few episodes kill it
>Agrippa, best friend ever, we love him
>Giulia, love her
>Tycho, love him
>Octavia, perfect b***h to hate
>Marcella, same
>Tiberius and Drusus, both great, Tiberius is fascinating
>Vispania, enchanting and hilarious
I could go on and on
Nice and passionate post, anon. Truth be told, only old historical epics and Mel Gibson kino can come close to this. You'll have to accept the industry is diseased and controlled by a people that hate European culture and it's people and want to destroy and humiliate it.
>I wish I could love something as much as this but I can't.
You're a tasteless loser lol
just exit your "muh ancestor" phase and grow up
I literally don't care about "muh white man power history" and I'm so sick of that being a rebuttal. I don't give a frick about history. I like it because it's a really fricking good movie bucko. It's good because it's good to watch a a violent movie that has an interesting story and good shots that also looks like pure candy because it's modern. That's it, that's all there is to it for me.
>I like it because it's a really fricking good movie bucko
false
your position is based on sentiment rather than reason
What's your top 5 favorite movies
Another fallacy?
>muh appeal to hypocrisy
You have to substantiate your position before anyone engages with it, the fact that you can't makes it quite obvious you're a child who needs to grow up, further evidenced by
which are posts displaying rather juvenile taste.
Shut up, midwit nerd.
Seethe much?
Try making an argument, it's clearly difficult for you. Perhaps it is beyond your faculties.
Oh okay so you think your favorite movies will draw criticism because you know you have shit taste, I'm done with you.
It looks kinda gay to me but based on some recommendations from Cinemaphile maybe The Last Duel would fit your criteria?
The Last Duel is a great suggestion for OP
I agree. Maybe I've just seen all the good movies and need to wait for more
I do really like that movie. It is kinda gay, it's a lot of talking and drama and the woman is the good truthful protagonist so you can't really talk about it here but it's definitely great if you're into the period, which I am. I recommend it if you can get over the muh feminism aspects.
i get you anon, and the answer is watch more anime / read manga. Northman imo is basically the closest we'll get to live action Berserk, in terms of it being a medieval revenge tale with fantastical elements and hyper-violence. And tonally they're very similar. Check it out, you won't be disappointed
You can check out Raised by Wolves but it's pretty schizo and only ran for 2 seasons (unfinished).
I did like the two episodes I watched of that but I was really drunk at the time so I don't remember the story and I remember being confused. I should pick it back up
Yeah. Have you watched Dredd yet?
No qualms there, that one rocks too. I almost watched that tonight but it was my wife's night to pick, good suggestion though.
You genuinely seem moronic.
Top 5 you dumb coward, go
movie was a boring piece of shit, even Last King was better
I disagree but Last King was fine
Yeah it was ok. I think Last Duel was ok too but its a bit of a bait and switch movie.
The real thing that makes amlets seethe is the undeniable fact that even the Green Knight was better than Northman.
>Green Knight was better than Northman
Green Knight is worse than used toilet paper.
kys
based
I'm sorry you're an unread little pleb.
> I also like the green knight
> I like Northman
OP is confirm moronic an led has shit taste in movies. Thread over.
Tell me your favorite movies. Your opinion doesn't matter if you can't say what you like.
Op here, I also like the green knight. I have the 4k Blu Ray sitting on my shelf next to the Northman.
Really bad movie completely butchering the original story and that's ignoring the lead is a brown dude.
>Green Knight was better than Northman
Good one anon but too obvious, 4/10
I liked it, I don't give a frick about farming upbotes with le epic trolls
Again, it's pure shit, completely raping the poem it claims to adapt.
Its good because its visually interesting
No one cares about that homosexual poem and all the weird white Black person shit that actually happens in the Arthurian legends
People only like the sword in the stone merlin stuff, the rest is creepy weirdo garbage where white knights just go around raping and robbing everyone
It's literally about a man giving up his claim to the throne to be replaced by a girl and agreeing to get butchered (which happens in the movie, brown Gawain dies in the end).
I liked the part with the cum
He doesn't die you moron his mom who was scared of him dying didn't use her magic to make a tree golem to kill him, why are you so fricking dumb
Nope. The fox tells him if he actually goes he's fricked.
Did they ever explain why Merlin turned Gawain into a poo?
Its a euphemism for how the inbred whites abdicate power to the third world because of their crippling delusional commitment to irrational values of liberalism and chivalry
Nope. He doesn't die in the story or the movie.
Is chivalry irrational? Isn't that the whole point of a knight?
No the chivalric code for knights was invented because knights were roaming around raping and robbing the countryside with impunity, like half the the Arthurian legend is just knights raping random women until Guinevere cucks Arthur into demanding knights swear to stop raping random women.
Before she cucked Arthur into laying down the law it was basically just moronic bikers riding from town to town raping and stealing
No he doesn't moron lmao
>No he doesn't moron lmao
Yes, he does. Cope and sneed, midwit.
Show me the scene of him dead then
I think its fine since he's supposed to be exotic in the context of the movie. I can see why people wouldn't like it but I think the point is that its supposed to add to the mythos of the Arthurian age, that he was so prosperous and powerful that his kingdom included exotic peoples from around the world. Then after his fall its just samey white people and unsalted potatoes for 1000 years.
Like it or hate it, cosmopolitanism is associated with prosperity and power.
>Show me the scene of him dead then
Girl picking up his crown and him being set on fire in the very first scene.
That's a dream sequence
Stay mad, the truth hurts
Literally the only redeeming aspect of turdman is seeing ayy naked and the 10 seconds of the skyrim zombie
>That's a dream sequence
He's dead. The framing is him being in flames, then accepting his insufficiency despite his mother's warnings, who just wanted him to go on a little adventure, and laying down his life, making room for a girl's reign. I'm sorry you got tricked.
He only dies in dream segments
Slumdog Millionaire is a fun movie though
Nope. He's dead meat at the end of the movie. He had the choice between being a bad ruler and dying. He went for dying. I'm sorry you got tricked.
Yet you can't show me him dead in the movie outside of a dream, your loss nerd
Why not show him ride back with a scar on his neck like in the poem? He dies in the movie, his mom even warned him.
Because he didn't die, it was a test
Yeah I might watch it on shrooms on day, could be a fun trip with the weird visuals
Gawain is supposed to be related to Arthur though. If they wanted an exotic knight, Lancelot would have fit better since he's supposed to be a foreigner. (From France, but still.)
Anyway, I wouldn't have minded so much if it was acknowledged in the story, but instead everyone just seems to pretend like nothing.
Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I just felt that this one aspect seemed so unnecessary.
I can appreciate saying its distracting but the actor is competent so I didn't mind. It wouldn't be my first choice but I am not an artist so it is what it is. That's why they make movies and I watch them.
To me I see it more like seeing a knight wearing a tiger fur or something. It doesn't make sense but it adds a splash of color and makes it seem enough out of place to be mystical. As far as I can remember they weren't just blackwashing the entire cast to make it seem like England was always mixed race.
tldr its a cool movie. I liked the shot where he dies in the forest a lot.
>Slumdog Millionaire
>competent
You are a poojeet, though.
I agree that the actor did a good job. And yeah, the rest of the cast was all white as far as I can recall. (Maybe his mother was also dark? Not sure.) But that sort of just made it more jarring to me given that nobody seemed to take notice. At least if there was all kinds of different people present, he wouldn't have stood out that much.
Well, no matter. I also liked it. Wish we got more similar types of movies where the plot is a bit strange and mysterious.
Patel is competent but the movie is a piece of trash written by funny beard guy gaytheist.
It’s strange and mysterious why film producers insist on turning white characters into Black folk. Wait, no it isn’t, first the BAFTAs then the OSCARS made race quotas a part of the their demand for nomination.
Well no matter, I’m sure the Black person just did the best audition in the room.
>Nope. He doesn't die in the story or the movie.
He dies in the movie.
I thought Green Knight was cool enough, but Gawain clearly being from India really threw me off the whole time.
Yeah, honestly that’s why I haven’t watched it. I have 3 translations on my Arthurian shelf, and I’d probably watched the movie in theaters if they didn’t go and indulge in the stunt casting gimmick to score woke points.
I think it's worth a watch. I quite liked the atmosphere of the movie. It really does capture that "grim fantasy" vibe and the visuals are great.
I just wish they had gone in a different direction with the casting. I sincerely have nothing against the lead actor on the whole, he did fine. But when we're talking 4th century british myth, it's just jarring to put someone from India there.
I like that stuff, and it’s not a racial issue, but when you shove a shitskin into a this sort of European mythology, it rings false. A smelly curry Black person can be cast in a Bollywood film, and I have no problem with it. But when they try to alter a European myth by turning characters into Black folk, I’m not going to watch. It just seems like it’s made in bad faith.
>Green Knight was better
frick off
I was disappointed the whole movie built towards homosexual Mustafar
This is honestly the only criticism I've ever seen here that I completely agree with. Don't get me wrong it's my favorite movie but I also don't love the last 30 minutes.
unironically, try watching Marco Polo. its not as good as Northman but it has a kino setting and the Mongolians have some similarity to Vikings
Fair enough, noted
Thousand Eyes was a real person and he wasn’t a blind kung fu master. Also there wasn’t any mongol female kung fu masters. Also this show was moronic.
yeah its quite fictionalized liked Rome was but I really liked it, also interesting that it was one of the last weinstein productions, and netflix's only attempt at grand historical drama before it regrettably flopped and they veered hard away to the shit production path. kind of feels like the last of that type of tv show before the current era started
I don’t know about that, I’m glad it flopped if it stopped these stupid israelites from carrying on their stupid revisionist history bullshit for even one second.
Notice how if you ask the shitters their favorite movies, they never answer.
It’s an OK movie. I enjoyed it more when I saw it the second time.
Hard to be a God is a newer medieval movie that's genuine eye candy, don't think I've seen better visuals in this genre. Not recommending it to op because it's not for sub-100IQs.
It's a complete snoozefest, anon.
>Not recommending it to op because it's not for sub-100IQs.
it IS for sub-115 IQs though
OP is like 85-92.
Top 5 favorite movies?
Only 92IQs rank movies.
What are 5 movies you love, you dumb, dumb moron
Land Before Time
Land Before Time 2
Land Before Time 3
Land Before Time 4
Land Before Time 5
How do you feel about the addition of chomper, do you think its somewhat hypocritical of them to accept a meat eater into their ranks or is that too harsh?
Land Before Time is a melting pot of friendship. They must learn to accept and embrace each other’s differences in order to quit living in fear of one another.
Befriending Chomper was the progress they needed to build a better world.
That seems like a pedestrian assessment. They were never afraid of each other, the whole point of the first movie was the journey to what's basically Eden, not the fear of other. The only consistent message across the series is that meat eaters are a threat so befriending one seems like pandering to me. I question whether or not you've actually seen all those movies.
Writing to IQ estimator gave my response a 140 IQ and gave yours a 97. You should be in your knees begging me for forgiveness.
Do you feel like your response was 140 IQ?
What I feel is irrelevant— I don’t make the rules.
Doesn't alter my statement-watement.
>2013
>All black and white
I feel like you might not understand what's happening here
It was pretty good. Maybe one of the best historical fantasy films ever made. "Nothing as good" level of good, though, I can't agree.
What is the "nothing is as good" level of good?
There isn't one. If I have a craving for generic action shlock, then there are few things as good as John Wick, or if I want to add a Brit crime twinge to that then I'll watch Wrath of Man or some other Guy Ritchie-alike boomer flick, but the Northman isn't going to cut it just like none of those would if I wanted to watch something that made me think about what was happening in the plot
Another anon mentioned Coriolanus, which I just watched a week ago. Great film, Ralph Fiennes is as fantastic as ever, but there was no moment where every part of the plot clicks together like how in Predestination you realize that there's only two characters in the entire film
So you come to my thread and you tell me my opinions don't matter and when I ask you what you like you offer me John wick and Guy Ritchie? You understand how not only have you added nothing to the conversation you've actually subtracted from it right?
I didn't even offer you the steam off my shit you illiterate mong, I told you you were wrong and I explained why. Whether or not you want to watch the examples I gave is entirely irrelevant.
You didn't "explain" anything, you gave half a sentence about the Northman that honestly made me wonder if you're esl. You're not a serious person, be gone with you.
>don't want to watch historical fantasy
>Northman isn't a good choice
Did I break it down enough for your dumb ass to understand?
I wanted to like this movie more than I actually did
I felt the same way.
I rewatched it recently and it had the same issues as when I saw it in theaters. The pagan stuff and raid scene at the beginning are awesome, but the rest of the movie (well over 2/3 of it) is just Skarsgard wandering around the slave village. I like Eggers and can tell he tried to keep the mythical feel going (the draugr and valkyrie scenes, which last for like five seconds each) but ultimately it feels low-energy after the first act.
So like the scene where they play the ball game did absolutely nothing for you? I'm genuinely curious because I see this criticism often as well and while I agree the movie kind of slumps in the last 30 minutes there's a lot that happens at the village that I find very engaging.
I didn't dislike Amleth scheming his way to get to his uncle, but it felt like a different movie.
I was extremely hyped because Eggers was coming off The Lighthouse, and the first chunk of The Northman was men howling and butchering each other. It had a real sense of intensity to it.
Most of the violence after that feels toothless since they always cut away for some reason, and the romance plotline clashes with the idea of Amleth as a hate-fueled maniac. Him and Anya also have zero chemistry imo
Since no one's thrown them in yet
>Bone Tomahawk
>Brawl in Cell Block 99
Bone Tomahawk is good only after a painfully boring first hour, the other one is shit though. Shot Caller is unironically the actual kino version of that dumbass movie
Feminist garbage.
it's just the Lion King with Vikings
babby zoomers first non-capeshit.
not even in the top 2 best eggie movie
How did we go from Eggers' best to discussing dogshit like The Last Duel, The Brown Knight and Marco Polo?
Concret Garden
This movie sucks and I have a great video idea to make fun of it but i can't make videos.
10,000 B.C.
>9% RT
I feel like you're pulling my leg
It's not a perfect movie, but they tried something different and I only saw this thing in The Northman, 1917, and Conan.
Which Conan, the original?
Yes.
Were all the fantasy elements just hallucinations?
This movie, aside from the production and some shots, is mediocrity incarnate. Sometimes it just devolves into unintentionally funny territory. Writing is terrible, laughable dialogue with exposition dumps, stiff and clumsy action (aside from the spear toss), and gives no reason to care about anything happening on the screen. I saw it on opening day since I was hyped for new Egg. Sorely disappointed.
You don't read.
I was over the top excited about this movie when I first heard about it a year or two before it came out considering the cast, what the plot was supposed to be, etc., but it might have been the most disappointing movie I've seen in history. I'm glad you liked it though
Sauna > The Green Knight