Oh shit! Two Tom Cruise characters are after you. One of them wants to kill you, the other to save you.

Oh shit! Two Tom Cruise characters are after you. One of them wants to kill you, the other to save you.
Which character do you pick for each role?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Eyes Wide Shut can try to kill me, I could manage that, even without Collateral protecting me, which I obviously pick

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't he like 5'4 and weak? Him being a villain or a hero is a child's power fantasy.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Zogbot maverick is trying to kill me. He's just an air force pilot, not a creative thinker or criminal mind particularly. He has more to lose than me. Cruise from Minority Report is going to absolutely dismantle that twink if I promise to give his son back.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    vampire tom cruise is trying to kill me, but pick up artist tom cruise from magnolia shall save me

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    top gun cruise is going to kill me.
    Less Grossman is gonna get me that TiVo though

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    *loosk around*
    *scratches head*
    *looks down*
    *strains eyes*
    Blimey is that two midges fightin?

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jerry Maguire trying to kill me.
    Tropic Thunder protecting me.

    Even if I end up dead it would be hilarious enough to be worth it.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Les Grossman wants to save me. I don't care who wants to kill me, I am untouchable as long as a israeli producer protects me.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Les Grossman trying to kill me and Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg protecting.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Stauffenberg continually fails to kill Les Grossman until it's too late

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ethan Hunt tries to hunt me
    Live die repeat tries to save me

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Kino, but I have to go with Collateral Tom Cruise (under contract by Les Grossman Tom Cruise) is trying to kill me while Austin Powers Tom Cruise is trying to protect me.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Somewhat stupid but 1000% kino.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jack Harper vs Jack Harper

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Hey yo.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >noone has posted it yet

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tom Cruise from Legend is trying to kill me while Tom Cruise from The Outsiders is trying to save me.

    I get to watch a bunch of greasers beating up on a twink and some Henson muppets while I frick prime Mia Sara

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    based replier

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jerry MacGuire is gonna sign Stefan Djordjevak

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    AND I CAN TELL YOU WHY
    PEOPLE GO INSANE

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    edge of tommorw to say me
    jerry McGuire to kill me

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Valkyrie Cruise trying to kill me
    Scientologist Cruise trying to save me

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >Vampire Cruise would easily seduce Magnolia Cruise and turn him, both gay and a vampire then turn against you. You will be given a choice to die or become gay vampire. Either way you're dead.

    kek this made me smile thanks anon

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Edge of tomorrow cruise with powers. Dies until he saves me. End of thread

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Mission Impossible cruise is going to save me from Collateral cruise. Imagine the gun fights

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The "someday my dream will come" posts broke me so bad that I actually started to fix my life. I finally got a job, and my first bank to put my money that isn't attached to my parents. I finally feel confident enough going out in public on my own to get groceries and stuff. I also started a dating profile, but the women around me are shit. I think I might make it bros. Someday my dream will come...

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      post it

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lt. Kaffee wants me in prison and Mitch McDeere is my attorney.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Born on the 4th of July seems like the easiest tom cruise to avoid. Just go somewhere that has no wheelchair access

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      thats super smart

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tesy

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Brian Flanagan trying to kill me Sgt. Nick Morton (with the mummy powers) trying to save me.

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    jerry maguire will try to kill me. the last samurai will try to save me

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Vampire Cruise hunts me Magnolia Cruise helps me

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >38 / 9 / 6
      I drove all night

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