Salma Hayek - Joan is awful

This is a 56 year old in 2023

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    is this the power of latino women? How does I, as a 6' brown haired blue eyed white boi aquire one?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why do people keep saying she's Latino?

      She's Lebanese.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Spanish/Lebanese.
        But she is Latino in the sense that she grew up in Latin America. And she is not Latino in the sense that she probably has zero to none indigenous American blood. But such distinctions are too much for many people to understand.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          She's as Latino as that redhead boxer is mexican

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Canelo is mexican. A lot of old towns in Jalisco state had german and french immigrants centuries ago. Now theres tons of white people in those areas, even if they are still poor mexicans

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Her mom is literally mexican or half mexican isnt she?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        There's tons of lebanese in latin america. Everyone in Latin America is considered latin if they've been then for a few generations and adopt the culture.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        This explains the breasts, used to frick a huge tittied lebanese moron

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Lebs are Latino

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Are you American? This argument always comes up with you morons. Americans equate race with nationality, but in Latin/South America, they are separate. If you're born in a country and grow up there, you're considered a citizen of that country, regardless of your parents' nationality. It's rude to ask about ancestry and nobody cares about it. In segregated societies like America, you're not part of the society if you look different or have a different surname. But if someone says they're Mexican, they're Mexican and that's it, regardless of their appearance.
        And every citizen of a country in South America is a latino. Only Americans think being brown (indigenous American) means latino.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I thought she was married to a man?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Be yourself, latinas love whiteboys

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        poor latinas, or latinas with poor imigration opportunities, other wise you are just another toy in their carpet,

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >brown haired
      >white

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      do you have a BWC?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I have a skinny, average pecker

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well then I hope you're funny or rich. Preferably both.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Unfortunately the avarage middle aged Latina looks more like Maradona than Salma Hayek

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Just place some tacos under a basket trap and pull the string when they start nibbling

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      most listen to shitty spanish reggaeton or some other garbage and want nothing to do with white boys because they won't go to the concerts or listen to that shit with them. I went by a dominican DJs live show like two months ago and literally nothing but 7+/10 walking around with their ass and breasts out. it's over for us white boys looking for some spicy latina pussy frens

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Convert to Catholicism
      >?????
      >Profit

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's the power of being a wealthy actress who's continued to have a successful and relevant career. Had she fallen off as an actress and not gotten any work for years, her looks probably would have fallen off as well.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      they love white wiener its easy just go to miami

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Never thought I'd see her in a show where she says the words "Salma Hayek's anus".

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Absolutely coom worthy. My gf was watching this episode of BM with me, and I had to hide my wood when Salma started fighting with the security guard and shaking her boobas. What Id give to have a girl with boobs like Salma and dont sag in their late 20s

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Salma had every kind of operations done on her.
      israelites really push these old bogged hags lately. Show me them without 1" of makeup and shape holding clothes.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        post wall roastie hands wrote this post

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was funny when the guy in the dress said
    >Am I really that gay?

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Modern science run amok

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    The blonde from shit's creek was hotter

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Who?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Joan

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          joan mamma

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Fugg

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've had a crush on salma since seeing the sex scene in Desperado as a kid in the 90s.
    Powerful genetics.

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    me on the right

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Actually that's me.

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    She's an awful actress

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      yeah but look at those breasts

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Never noticed

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      > I am 5ft 2in and in Mexico where I am from, it was very important to be tall. People used to say that the short thing was a deformity. I was really upset about my height." I am now too, considering I'm 5ft 1in… This revelation about my appearance got me poking about the internet for some height classifications, and apparently I'm a whole three inches away from qualifying as a "little person." That, coupled with the red hair; I should really be down in Kerry, dancing at the side of the road for the Americans and charging a princely sum to be in the presence of my lucky charms
      Never realized she was a shortsack. Bet she stand on a box like the chick from the X files.

      [...]

      [...]

      Lol at people saying she is a bad actress. She has two golden globes, I think. Anyways I always associate golden globes with her name.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I love her globes too anon.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      the sea, sun setting, beautiful woman, life is amazing, live

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I think you might be a homosexual.

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    wow didnt relize finnish hockey legend teemu selänne transitioned

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    why tf was joan portrayed as the victim? she was altogether terrible. fricking white women and their victim complex. And why would they waste the guy from Station Eleven for 10 seconds of the show?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      t. speedwatcher

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    literally an oompa loompa with booba

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      > I am 5ft 2in and in Mexico where I am from, it was very important to be tall. People used to say that the short thing was a deformity. I was really upset about my height." I am now too, considering I'm 5ft 1in… This revelation about my appearance got me poking about the internet for some height classifications, and apparently I'm a whole three inches away from qualifying as a "little person." That, coupled with the red hair; I should really be down in Kerry, dancing at the side of the road for the Americans and charging a princely sum to be in the presence of my lucky charms
      Never realized she was a shortsack. Bet she stand on a box like the chick from the X files.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous
      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I should really be down in Kerry, dancing at the side of the road for the Americans and charging a princely sum to be in the presence of my lucky charms
        Yes Salma, come to Kerry pls

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    So fricking hot.

  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >other celebrity crushes have hit the wall so hard you wouldn't recognize them
    >salma has been in the 9-10 range ever since I first saw her
    God bless that woman

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Some of us just chose right

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      her face is made of chiseled stone

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Same brother, first time I saw her in Dusk at 12 years old I was obsessed with exotic beauties like her.

  15. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Plot didn't make sense

  16. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate it when there is a celeb cameo and all the characters try to convince us that the actor appearing is a FRICKING INSTITUTION. Salma Hayek hasn't been relevant in decades and yet they act as if they got Audrey Hepburn to appear in a show during the 60s.

    Whole episode reminds me of the Jamie Lee Curtis pasta.

    >STILL GOT IT
    >DAMN, SALMA HAYEK LOOKS LIKE THAT??

  17. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't she from Levant and is "Latina" only by merriage?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Don't care

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lebanese dad, Spanish mother, both emigrated to Mexico, she was born there, moved to America in her early 20s.

      There's tons of lebanese in latin america. Everyone in Latin America is considered latin if they've been then for a few generations and adopt the culture.

      She's only been there for 1 generation and at this point she's spent more time living outside of Mexico than in it.

  18. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    was never very attracted to her tbh
    >learning now shes lebanese
    its all starting to make sense

  19. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Holy shit she's actually 56

  20. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      mommy milkies booba sexo

  21. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >tattoos

      DROPPED!

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        how to go from a 10 to a 2

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      how to go from a 10 to a 2

      why do they do it?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's from a movie where she's playing a hooker

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          its makeup

          But why do people in real life do it

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        its makeup

  22. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  23. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  24. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  25. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'd rape her brains out at gunpoint and make her shit out my loads unironically

  26. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lebs also have big bobs?Is it a levantine thing?

  27. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    The milk trucks - or the milk convoy - have arrived

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >We got a great big convoy, jigglin through the night~
      >We got a great big convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?

  28. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >this 5/10 is 56! Can you believe it?!
    Yes.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Post what you consider a 8/10 or higher

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not a bogged 56 year old Hispanic caked in makeup.
        Her husband is a massive Epstein child rapist. They must have been sacrificing children for decades.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >doesn't post any and goes on a schizo rant
          kek

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't have to. If this is 8/10 to you then I can only make fun of you.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Why are you afraid to post your version of an 8/10?

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Imagine someone In her early 20s. Or very gifted woman in her 30s.

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              So you're afraid everyone will laugh at your shitty taste. Makes sense, you're probably not even straight.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'd like Dasha but I'd take Salma and her sensational breasts over her. I'd probably even take Anna over her.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Her husband is a fricking billionnaire, comes from old money. Epstein is small time a guy like that.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            That changes literally nothing about what he said

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            They sacrifice children anyway. Salmas husband is a proven child molestator and satanist.

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              If a couple of kids need to be sacrificed occasionally to keep Salma hot, then it's a price worth paying.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Someone white would be a start..

  29. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    probably looks much worse when she isnt caked in makeup

  30. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    This episode was so good until the end where they completely ruined it. When she talks to the therapist after it all, they had the perfect opportunity to go back to their original conversation at the start of the show and have her show some remorse.

    "Oh I really see now how good I had it with a good job and great fiance who loved and cared for me, having literal main character syndrome was stupid and gave me delusions of grandeur screwing everything up. I sure hope I can rebuild my life to be 1/10 of what it was before."

    Instead it's 2023 so we can't ever have anything bad happen to a woman because of her direct actions so now she's perfectly happy and over the moon with her new life, has embraced having main character syndrome, somehow just bought a coffee shop that's instantly successful fulfilling her lifelong dream, oh and also she's bffs with the rich and famous actor that portrayed her. Everything turned out rainbows and sunshine and she's got no problems anymore.

    Terrible ending that ruined the entire episode.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      i dont get people who are against someone thinking theyre the main character
      like how do you live? do you think of yourself as the background character? as just an extra in life?
      you should embrace being the main character of your life, then you will see shit happen and line up for you

  31. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Holy manjaw, Batman.

  32. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    She doesn't look 56 but she sounds like she's 76. What a gravelly voice.

  33. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Her breasts are 16.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Out of 10.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Based dub dubs, chkd

        God I love older women. You cannot even comprehend my grannylust. I want Susan Sarandon and Jamie Lee Curtis to have furious sweaty sex with me in an unairconditioned shack on a sweltering August night.

        What about Elizabeth Hurley?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >What about Elizabeth Hurley?
          Already taken. She's currently sleeping with her son

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >spoiler
            based. I wonder what it's like to have a hot mother.

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              Nah that kid is a homosexual. You can tell by how he talks, dresses, and the fact that he is openly gay and constantly has to tell publications that

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              Unless you're not the jealous type, probably hell. Lotsa staring at beaches and other public places.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Her plastic surgeon is incredible. She’s that thin but still has toned muscle and somehow got the baby fat back on her face. They’ve sent the call to voicemail

  34. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    imagine what this will look like in 20 years

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thinking like brundlefly

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      something like this I'd imagine

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        why do asian women stop aging from 14-50 then instantly turn into grandmas?

  35. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    She owes me sex

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      She owes me milk

  36. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    God I love older women. You cannot even comprehend my grannylust. I want Susan Sarandon and Jamie Lee Curtis to have furious sweaty sex with me in an unairconditioned shack on a sweltering August night.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's only 0.00001% of granny women that look like that, moron.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        And I love them all, pleb.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          KYS degenerate.

  37. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I want Salma to be my mom.

  38. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Has she ever actually showed full nudes?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, but only to me

  39. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  40. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    She hasn't looked good since 2000. Gain taste.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      She's been maturing like a fine wine or a wedge of cheese

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        god i need a latina wife, how can a white guy achieve such a woman?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is she getting bigger?!?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      you must be 18 to post

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Her breasts genuinely look insane, hentai tier.

  41. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Daughter is uglier than step-daughter.
    That must frick with you.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      She did marry a french banker or some shit. You reap what you sow

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's bruce willis's love child

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        2, 3, 4, and 6 literally look the same

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Poor Bruce must be happier now that he doesn't know who these people are.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          jesus dude

  42. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    idc i'd still frick her.

  43. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lights and makeup can literally do magic

  44. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    MAMI

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