Why do film journalists and everyone on the internet seem to be unable to tell that shes always joking and bantering?

Why do film journalists and everyone on the internet seem to be unable to tell that she’s always joking and bantering?

Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68

UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68

Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Who?

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    They're stupid.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      journalists are some of the stupidest people on earth and entertainment journalists are bottom rung. She is barely hiding her disdain for them throughout the whole process but shes doing a fantastic job. Shes my new personal hero.

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nepocumbawd who doesn't take her unearned job seriously.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >hngnggrrrrrr why are you messing with muh hecking marevlrinos reeeeeeeeeeee

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      As opposed to the nepoisraelitejournalist that absolutely earned their job?

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Everyday I go back and forth between seeing Dakota as a beautiful woman or as Don Johnson in a wig.
    Today it's Don.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      pero que quieren los Dons del siglo XXI????

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Journalists are subzero IQ morons.

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because she has the charisma of a door?

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Her red carpet appearances are getting pretty risqué

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      wait, that's aislop isn't it?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        So you cant tell?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          point taken

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        No this is her at the opening of that thing she was in

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          That's not true Ellen.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            I'm waiting for you, Ellen. On a couch in something vaguely resembling your tv set.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Is it Lora or Roop?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's a lora. Someone on civit recently released a suspiciously good dakota johnson lora to coincide with the release of the film, I can only imagine for exactly the thing I'm doing now.

                Actually a really useful lora more generally. It must have been trained on a lot of full body shots so it can be used to create those even if you're not going to dj's face

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                I need to train one someday, but Khoya never works out. Good bless your prompts.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        The head is way too big to actually be her.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Because of the body prompt.

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    She has a kino voice

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You'd think she was cold or something

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wanna suck her breasts

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Her buffoonery is unsactioned.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Is that you, John Wayne?
    >Is this me?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      What?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Dakota Johnson is busty with attitude

        >you talking to me? (and my breasts)
        >you talkin to me? (and my breasts)
        >well there's no one else here ('cept my big breasts)

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          is this actually AI?Holy fricking shit,what a time to be a coomer

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            It is the dawning of a new age

            That box on the bottom is masking a penis going into her vegana. You can make realistic pov porn of celebrities

            Takes fricking forever to get right though

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              I always assumed she was legit nude in the 50s Shades movies thus rending this irrelevant

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                The point of AI is that you can dress her up and do things with her. Dakota Johnson in a baseball cap and a ripped white t-shirt. Dakota Johnson with pigtails. Dakota Johnson in a little black dress and little white panties.

                All the things we'd want to do to Dakota Johnson after seeing her in the 50s Shades

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    All journalists should be publicly garroted

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Her entire shtick is wrapped up in throwing journo slop right back at them. Obviously they can’t see she’s taking the piss out of them. it’s poe’s law, essentially. The mocking becomes indistinguishable from that which it mocks. Some moronic shit for brain goyslop merchant will ask Dakota her top five favourite glorplesnorp chungus wholesome bleepleboop thanos moments and she returns with essentially “AH BLOO BLOO you fricking moron i don’t care” while laughing at them and theyre like woah…. so true, i love these iconic bleebertop hecking keanu doggo iconic moments too.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      But normies will just interpret it as negative once the journos really turn on her and it might destroy her career?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        A lot of those journalists who take everything out of context and clickbait are pissed at her for attacking them and you can see some really nasty articles from THR and TMZ on her right now. It's interesting to see how it all plays out. A lot of twitter and the press hates her right now but you don't see any of her colleagues joining in--they only ever say good things.

        I wish she'd go full scorched against entertainment journalists because 99% of them are entirely worthless.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      When she said it was
      >such a silly thing"
      to the journo who asked about the out of context line going viral, she was referring to thr journo, not the question.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Some moronic shit for brain goyslop merchant will ask Dakota her top five favourite glorplesnorp chungus wholesome bleepleboop thanos moments and she returns with essentially “AH BLOO BLOO you fricking moron i don’t care” while laughing at them and theyre like woah…. so true, i love these iconic bleebertop hecking keanu doggo iconic moments too.
      You sound like a Rick and Morty character.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I literally mentioned Poe’s Law in my post and you still confuse what i’m intentionally making fun of for my own way of speaking. This is what Dakota herself deals with every day kek.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Rick and Morty characters are pretty ironic too and they make fun of sci-fi techno-babble by speaking in that manner. By being ironic you only sound even more of a Rick and Morty character.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Rick and Morty characters are pretty ironic
            Are they though? Not really. People like my parents have never even heard of it because it is post death of TV. Its a cartoon that was popular on reddit for a while but was not that great and then its main creator got fired for being a tard.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Please refund to me the time I spent reading this post.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >theyre like woah…. so true, i love these iconic bleebertop hecking keanu doggo iconic moments too.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Dude get a fricking grip.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      why is everyone shitting on this comment I thought it as funny and on point

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw she will never look at you like this

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        It kills me a little more every day. Plus the added bonus of making Coldplay Chris Martin mad. He's been trying to put a baby in her for years now, imagine if she was waiting for you instead.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          rude

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    We're joking and bantering too.

    That's how it works, right?

    You pretend to be a moron and we play along and pretend you really are a moron.

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    No one knew who the frick Dakota Johnson was until a week ago and even then she's still a literal who

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      She’s been Cinemaphile royalty for years (specifically that one webm) and she’s had a few hit films.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        No she hasn't and you're a terrible Hollywood agent

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          50 Shades made a lot of money.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Wasn't that over a decade ago? She's a nobody

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          t. actual 14 year old who doesn't remember how big Fifty Shades of Grey was

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          her grandmother starred in a film by alfred hitchwiener. Her parents were both super famous and your parents undoubtedly touched themselves to pictures of them. She starred in a BILLION DOLLAR trilogy in her twenties.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        wat? We liked her but she was never /ourgirl/ Maybe as contrariant reverse nepo?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      You must surely be a newbie, we’ve been memeing that she saved Cinemaphile for years now

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Suspiria remake was good.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not as good as the original though 😉

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    She's nepokino.
    With great preferential treatment there usually doesn't come any responsibility,

    7:55

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s so funny how one celeb that just starts giving normal human responses to slopjourno questions has started mindbreaking these people.
      >noooo wtf you were supposed to act like this was the funniest thing you’ve ever heard and give me le content!!!

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        post the rest

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >8 minutes of her talking about her own shit before the interview

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Weird Dakota Johnson damage control itt

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why did she do it, bros?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why is Hammond acting so zesty? I cal almost hear the gay lisp.

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >she needs BWC

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      oh is that he forward young man? What's his secret bros

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Knowing how fricking bored the actresses are doing this shit with moronic journos who want “content” served on a silver platter. Put a miniscule amount of effort into fun amd/or charisma and suddenly you’ll seem a titan compared to the rest.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i was talking about the black interviewer, she's the one who needs a BWC, you dumb coomer bbc homosexual

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    her mouth belongs to BWC....beautiful

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i was talking about the black interviewer, she's the one who needs a BWC, you dumb coomer bbc homosexual

      [...]

      deranged

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        those african lips sucking european sperm, she'll create another mutt in her stomach

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >her AD house tour
    Why did she lie about the limes bros?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      She was poking fun at the amount of limes the crew places in the houses for those tours. Although my favorite is still the one where they made the table for a group meal and then put one lemon on a plate and nothing else as if they were all going to share that one lemon.

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    because she’s not funny

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *