You can't do Willow without Madmartigan. You especially can't do Willow with identity politics driven characters like the two dykes they've inserted into the show. It's going to be a shitfest.
if you're going to stop watching movies with an ugly or brown-skinned person, you are never going to see a major Hollywood movie again. idk how they even got The Northman greenlit.
>She's God damn hideous
i agree. it's terrible. and i love redheads. it's all wrong with the nog genetics. i don't love this.
give me a real pure-blooded North Sea girl.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Her symmetries really do resonate in a primal way.
Imagine just slamming Warwick Davis as hard as you can. Just going full speed, grabbing him with both arms, lifting him clear over your head, and just slamming him down into the concrete with every fiber of muscle in your body. The noise of his destruction would be akin to a gunshot, but rather than the crack of a supersonic bullet, it is the collective cracking of every bone in his tiny body. He could just be waddling his little midge waddle and suddenly find himself lifting into the air, and the next time he blinks he is launching towards the sidewalk at literally breakneck speed. Every little midge bone in his little midge body would be broken, if not outright shattered. Compound fractures would tear through both his skin and pierce his internal organs. Blood and cranial fluids would leak from the multiple open fractures across his skull. His lower teeth would be driven into his unhinged jaw. And as the life fades away from him and his vision would turn black, he's look up at you and beg with his eyes "Why?" Yet your casual stride away from him would give him the only answer he is worthy of: "Why not?" You see, Warwick's entire midge life is utterly beneath the notice of actual humans, and snuffing his pathetic life out was an action done so casually and so carelessly it was far beyond your notice. It was a thoughtless impulse, one already forgotten. The one and only reason nobody had ended his pitiful midge life earlier was because nobody else could be bothered. He wasn't even worth the time to put any conscious thought into killing. With that realization, Warwick Davis releases his bowels (a runny midge poop, as midges lack the intestinal length to properly process food) and dies. Nobody bothers burying him.
>Don't call me a peck
Oh I'm sorry..............................Peck...Peck...Peck...Peck..PeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeck.....................................................................................PECK.
Literally the Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person poster of his generation.
Little known fact: Warwick's name was specially chosen by his parents because it is very difficult to trick him into saying it backwards, thereby banishing him to his home dimension.
>series instead of a movie sequel >literally just called "willow" to insert itself into searches for the movie >bunch of mystery meat diversity hires, including that freckled goblin that ruins everything she's in
guaranteed trash
It's a little hard to imagine what the plot would be. Or at least, it's hard to imagine it will be as impactful as the hero's journey that the underdog protagonist had in the first movie. A straight-up fight between competent characters is a bit of a dull premise.
I, for one, would like to stick my thumbs into Warick Davis's eye sockets. I want to feel his ocular organs squish into a bloody, viscous pulp beneath the soft, yielding flesh of my fingertips. I want to hear his screams of absolute terror and pain as he realizes he'll never see again.
Then, I would remove my thumbs from his eyesockets, giving him a brief respite as I grabbed a pair of barbeque tongs and a dull butterknife. with the tongs I would pluck out his ruined eyeballs and sever the optic nerves with the butter knife. at this point I would already have a hot plate going with a buttered pan ready to crudely sautee Warwick's juicy macula. As they sizzled in the pan, he would smell them, and after having been starved for days on end, he might even have the nerve to comment about how good whatever I was cooking smelled - not being able to see what it was, of course.
"Here, try some." I would offer, giving him a heaping spoonful of the fried, well-seasoned sight-flesh. He would gobble it down eagerly, begging for more like the deformed goblin he was, still not aware of what he was eating. I would feed him the rest, and only after he had eaten it all would I tell him what it truly was.
As he screamed in horror and retched, I would put my thumbs into his empty eyesockets for the last time. I would drive them deep, deep into his empty ocular cavities, until I broke through the fragile bone and began to push my fingers into his brain. Slowly, his musical shrieking of pain and terror would abate as his brain becomes too damaged to operate his vocal cords, let alone comprehend what is happening to him.
At this point, I place my massive, throbbing erection in front of his vegetative face and begin to powerfrick his eye sockets. In and out, in and out, over and over, until his brains are nothing more than a mess of dead cells and tangled dendrites. As I climaxed, I would push myself balls deep into his skull, seed mixing with ruined neurons in a perverse wienertail.
I liked it when the Game of Thrones midge shat on the Snow White movie and put 7 midges out of work and he temporarily became our most hated midge, and made Warwick /ourmidge/ by comparison. Almost sad it didn't stick.
Our midge was and always will be Verne Troyer. Even the pasta that Warwick got so asshurt about was originally written about Verne and nobody got really nasty about midges until Warwick started getting uppity. We joked about beating Verne up out of love. The people who make new pastas about Warwick want to exact pain on him in reality.
Whenever I see this image, I compulsively think about how awful the 'perfect day' on the left would be.
If I had to sit in an unmade bed eating greasy pizza and watching those fricking films I would feel like garbage and want to kill myself by halfway through the day.
I've been on Team Warwick ever since Dink made those midges lose their job. Warwick is the true king of the small.
Warwick: >the most prolific dwarf in the world >has no problem playing goofy parts and can laugh at himself >starred in two of the biggest film ips >cool with fans
D*ink >not even an ideal dwarf (he's only like a few inches away from dwarf cut off) >has to always play serious roles like reddit man from GOT >is over his head and thinks he's a serious actor >got seven dwarves out of the job because of manlet rage >was in some shitty HBO show that stopped being good after season 1
"HEY, I KNOW YOU ALL ENJOY THE COMIC RELIEF SMALL PEOPLE OFTEN BRING TO ENTERTAINMENT, AND THAT'S A GOOD THING, BUT LET'S MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR... WE WILL NOT BE DENIGRATED, MOCKED, OBJECTIFIED, OR OTHERWISE ABUSED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. WE DESERVE THE VERY SAME DIGITY YOU EXPECT TO RECEIVE AS WE ARE FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, NOT 'FREAKS'."
This has to be the most cliche trailer of all time. The heartbeat drum beat at the start, the rising wooshing sound that stops suddenly, the mentor character saying 'everything in this world has a balance, when that balance is upset...'
Is this a parody? I mean are they fricking joking?
Anon, there's a literal formula for this and it works. People go see this shit because of these gay-ass formulas. Everything from psychologists to Mad Men marketing chads are paid copious amounts of money to just make a formulaic trailer and a poster for these shitty formulaic Hollywood movies that people throw their wages at.
>Everything from psychologists to Mad Men marketing chads
mad men marketing chad here
I haven't done a lick of work in months
also v. buzzed
don't @me homos
I know, but this one is so tired, so typical, so cookie-cutter that I almost can't believe it. It's like they haven't even tried to do anything to make it stand out.
>It's like they haven't even tried to do anything to make it stand out.
you just described the current state of hwood bro
make everything milquetoast and diverse
make it impossible for midwits to notice the grift
mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts
Willow was one of those obscure 80s movies that no one ever really claimed to hate. To most of Cinemaphile it was completely irrelevant and forgotten. To the rest it was comfy fantasy kino. Hollywood digging up a corpse like Willow is just proof that they have absolutely no genuine stories to tell anymore.
>streaming on ~~*wogsey plus*~~
>silver screen
Well duh movie theaters are dead streaming is where it's at now
midge
Nah I’m thinking that’s absolute dogshit, my man.
You can't do Willow without Madmartigan. You especially can't do Willow with identity politics driven characters like the two dykes they've inserted into the show. It's going to be a shitfest.
This.
Waste that frickin midge
If there is a single black person or mutt in this, I WILL NOT watch it.
Looks like we have pajeets, nigs, and mystery meat
>the disgusting frecklemutt from Solo and Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Instadropped.
if you're going to stop watching movies with an ugly or brown-skinned person, you are never going to see a major Hollywood movie again. idk how they even got The Northman greenlit.
It's her specifically.
She's God damn hideous and an awful actress.
>She's God damn hideous
i agree. it's terrible. and i love redheads. it's all wrong with the nog genetics. i don't love this.
give me a real pure-blooded North Sea girl.
Her symmetries really do resonate in a primal way.
>if you're going to stop watching movies with an ugly or brown-skinned person, you are never going to see a major hollywood movie again
And?
>you are never going to see a major hollywood movie again
I fricking hope so.
why do you hate freckled redheads?
They think that this will work as a gateway drug for white men to develop jungle fever.
Nice try, Hollywood.
They’re even stealing red hair now?
>adwoa aboah
kek.
its a so bad name, it rhymes!
>Rosabell Laurenti Sellers
BAD POOSI
Based and same.
>not liking the best warrior in the village
you're the real peck
the muttest mutt to ever mutt is in it
Imagine just slamming Warwick Davis as hard as you can. Just going full speed, grabbing him with both arms, lifting him clear over your head, and just slamming him down into the concrete with every fiber of muscle in your body. The noise of his destruction would be akin to a gunshot, but rather than the crack of a supersonic bullet, it is the collective cracking of every bone in his tiny body. He could just be waddling his little midge waddle and suddenly find himself lifting into the air, and the next time he blinks he is launching towards the sidewalk at literally breakneck speed. Every little midge bone in his little midge body would be broken, if not outright shattered. Compound fractures would tear through both his skin and pierce his internal organs. Blood and cranial fluids would leak from the multiple open fractures across his skull. His lower teeth would be driven into his unhinged jaw. And as the life fades away from him and his vision would turn black, he's look up at you and beg with his eyes "Why?" Yet your casual stride away from him would give him the only answer he is worthy of: "Why not?" You see, Warwick's entire midge life is utterly beneath the notice of actual humans, and snuffing his pathetic life out was an action done so casually and so carelessly it was far beyond your notice. It was a thoughtless impulse, one already forgotten. The one and only reason nobody had ended his pitiful midge life earlier was because nobody else could be bothered. He wasn't even worth the time to put any conscious thought into killing. With that realization, Warwick Davis releases his bowels (a runny midge poop, as midges lack the intestinal length to properly process food) and dies. Nobody bothers burying him.
nobody gives a frick about that stupid peck
Based
>Don't call me a peck
Oh I'm sorry..............................Peck...Peck...Peck...Peck..PeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeckPeck.....................................................................................PECK.
Literally the Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person Black person poster of his generation.
Little known fact: Warwick's name was specially chosen by his parents because it is very difficult to trick him into saying it backwards, thereby banishing him to his home dimension.
That's one of many Warwick Davis facts that make me want to put him in a pillow case and swing him against a tree.
He's such an "I'm acting" actor
>series instead of a movie sequel
>literally just called "willow" to insert itself into searches for the movie
>bunch of mystery meat diversity hires, including that freckled goblin that ruins everything she's in
guaranteed trash
It's a little hard to imagine what the plot would be. Or at least, it's hard to imagine it will be as impactful as the hero's journey that the underdog protagonist had in the first movie. A straight-up fight between competent characters is a bit of a dull premise.
Looks like midge is back on the menu, boys.
Why isn't there more hype for the Midge? Are people finally tired of reboot after reboot?
I, for one, would like to stick my thumbs into Warick Davis's eye sockets. I want to feel his ocular organs squish into a bloody, viscous pulp beneath the soft, yielding flesh of my fingertips. I want to hear his screams of absolute terror and pain as he realizes he'll never see again.
Then, I would remove my thumbs from his eyesockets, giving him a brief respite as I grabbed a pair of barbeque tongs and a dull butterknife. with the tongs I would pluck out his ruined eyeballs and sever the optic nerves with the butter knife. at this point I would already have a hot plate going with a buttered pan ready to crudely sautee Warwick's juicy macula. As they sizzled in the pan, he would smell them, and after having been starved for days on end, he might even have the nerve to comment about how good whatever I was cooking smelled - not being able to see what it was, of course.
"Here, try some." I would offer, giving him a heaping spoonful of the fried, well-seasoned sight-flesh. He would gobble it down eagerly, begging for more like the deformed goblin he was, still not aware of what he was eating. I would feed him the rest, and only after he had eaten it all would I tell him what it truly was.
As he screamed in horror and retched, I would put my thumbs into his empty eyesockets for the last time. I would drive them deep, deep into his empty ocular cavities, until I broke through the fragile bone and began to push my fingers into his brain. Slowly, his musical shrieking of pain and terror would abate as his brain becomes too damaged to operate his vocal cords, let alone comprehend what is happening to him.
At this point, I place my massive, throbbing erection in front of his vegetative face and begin to powerfrick his eye sockets. In and out, in and out, over and over, until his brains are nothing more than a mess of dead cells and tangled dendrites. As I climaxed, I would push myself balls deep into his skull, seed mixing with ruined neurons in a perverse wienertail.
Bruh
I love how even the AI thinks he's an abomination.
kek based AI
What program is this?
NovelAI. Here's an old one from when AI Dungeon wasn't complete shit.
Thanks m8
I liked it when the Game of Thrones midge shat on the Snow White movie and put 7 midges out of work and he temporarily became our most hated midge, and made Warwick /ourmidge/ by comparison. Almost sad it didn't stick.
Frick off, Warwick.
Our midge was and always will be Verne Troyer. Even the pasta that Warwick got so asshurt about was originally written about Verne and nobody got really nasty about midges until Warwick started getting uppity. We joked about beating Verne up out of love. The people who make new pastas about Warwick want to exact pain on him in reality.
Based
Pass. I will only skim the episodes to see the cute tomboy princess so I can better emulate her personalities in my NovelAI rape stories.
Dangerously based
His temper juxtaposes his height
and yet criticize israeli individuals and you get banned
curious
Warwick likes to stare at walls, watch thunderstorms, and forge knives?
I think it means you're torturing Warwick
Doing renovations with my man, Warwick, on a stormy day sounds kino.
Whenever I see this image, I compulsively think about how awful the 'perfect day' on the left would be.
If I had to sit in an unmade bed eating greasy pizza and watching those fricking films I would feel like garbage and want to kill myself by halfway through the day.
It makes me feel sick just to look at it.
replace the chair with one of those baby chairs
I've been on Team Warwick ever since Dink made those midges lose their job. Warwick is the true king of the small.
Warwick:
>the most prolific dwarf in the world
>has no problem playing goofy parts and can laugh at himself
>starred in two of the biggest film ips
>cool with fans
D*ink
>not even an ideal dwarf (he's only like a few inches away from dwarf cut off)
>has to always play serious roles like reddit man from GOT
>is over his head and thinks he's a serious actor
>got seven dwarves out of the job because of manlet rage
>was in some shitty HBO show that stopped being good after season 1
He has a whole agency to find work for midges. Dink was literally attacking his bottom line.
Lol, this is too believable. Karl is definitely autistic enough to post here.
"HEY, I KNOW YOU ALL ENJOY THE COMIC RELIEF SMALL PEOPLE OFTEN BRING TO ENTERTAINMENT, AND THAT'S A GOOD THING, BUT LET'S MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR... WE WILL NOT BE DENIGRATED, MOCKED, OBJECTIFIED, OR OTHERWISE ABUSED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. WE DESERVE THE VERY SAME DIGITY YOU EXPECT TO RECEIVE AS WE ARE FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, NOT 'FREAKS'."
blah blah blah we human traffic midgets
>cater for there needs
>there
I didn't realise midgism caused mental moronation.
why is this midge so litigious?
Just a friendly reminder
https://mobile.twitter.com/warwickadavis/status/1126250525899538432
I agree completely.
funniest webm on Cinemaphile
Midge
He's going to be another jaded and weak old version of his younger self and will be replaced by a cool black midget who's all girl and all POWER.
Is Thorn Drumheller going to turn himself into the floor in this?
This has to be the most cliche trailer of all time. The heartbeat drum beat at the start, the rising wooshing sound that stops suddenly, the mentor character saying 'everything in this world has a balance, when that balance is upset...'
Is this a parody? I mean are they fricking joking?
>just noticing that trailers follow a template now
Its cliche but it hardly stands out.
Anon, there's a literal formula for this and it works. People go see this shit because of these gay-ass formulas. Everything from psychologists to Mad Men marketing chads are paid copious amounts of money to just make a formulaic trailer and a poster for these shitty formulaic Hollywood movies that people throw their wages at.
>Everything from psychologists to Mad Men marketing chads
mad men marketing chad here
I haven't done a lick of work in months
also v. buzzed
don't @me homos
I know, but this one is so tired, so typical, so cookie-cutter that I almost can't believe it. It's like they haven't even tried to do anything to make it stand out.
thats all of them
>It's like they haven't even tried to do anything to make it stand out.
you just described the current state of hwood bro
make everything milquetoast and diverse
make it impossible for midwits to notice the grift
Don't forget the """grandiose""" cover of the original theme
This one's going in the AI for sure.
Why does that lady only have one massive boob?
post the pasta of warwick going to the bank
Episode 1: Willow Versus the Too Tall Countertop
2 will be having all the midge pussy
3 prob has the biggest wiener
5 gets no pussy
>midge pussy
>implying they don't go in for regular pussy
Every actress who plays Snow White looks like she's being 7-teamed every night.
>lesibains about to kiss
Children shouldn't see this.
mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts and mutts
Getting the midget union some work. Dinklage must be seething.
Did Cinemaphile hate Willow before the Warwick memes? I feel like it would be a movie well received here
Classic Cinemaphile liked willow a lot.
Willow was one of those obscure 80s movies that no one ever really claimed to hate. To most of Cinemaphile it was completely irrelevant and forgotten. To the rest it was comfy fantasy kino. Hollywood digging up a corpse like Willow is just proof that they have absolutely no genuine stories to tell anymore.
I'm not a fan of movies.
Then why are you here
There's more to this board than just movies
Is it me or dude looks like he could play very small robocop
Robocop was another movie enjoyed by classic Cinemaphile
He looks like shit
Now I know what's wrong with him, but I gotta say
HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT NOW
How could one aquire a DNA sample
Why even call the show Willow when you know he's gonna have zero screentime?
Willow without Val Kilmer is an absolutely stupid idea.
>Oh, I'm really scared. Please, no, don't! There's a Peck here with an acorn, and he's pointing it at me!