You're now Will's agent. How do you save his career?

You're now Will's agent. How do you save his career?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why is he assuming the buck breaking position?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He's in the process of saving his career

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Natural position for the Black person to kneel before his White master.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It was murder in there

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      ok serious answer, his jacket was tight o
      in the back and if he didn't assume the pose it would've ripped

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Just a regular Friday

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    At this point you just have to go with the flow.
    Convince him to come out since everyone knows he's gay (if he's bi he is gay). And book appropriate gay roles.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      watch Six Degrees of Separation

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    1. Make Jada disappear. Refuse to discuss it. No one would care or ask questions.
    2. Take the role of a broken down older cop or former soldier who's hit rock bottom and needs to fight his way back to redemption. It would be symbolic of the fallen movie hero coming back.
    3. Film a viral video of him slapping Jaden around. People will love it.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Do you do PR in real life?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymouse

      Jada has no future career, beyond ANOTHER unnecessary Madagascar movie and exploiting Will for social media attention.
      So that b***h has got to go, got to go now!
      The only thing that's gonna revive Wills career once that's occurred is a "once in a generational movie" something that only comes along a few in a decade. Will is a little too age to play the action hero role at this point in such a film tbh, so I have a hard time imaging it happening.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        if denzel and keanu could do it so could will

        the problem really is jada. will has been pussywhipped into a shadow of his potential

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Unironically make him star in a Tarantino movie and make him pull something like Travolta.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You actually have to be a talented actor to pull it off. Will Smith has always made bad movies and was terrible in them and his whole act was one note and doesn't work anymore.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I could see him being put into a Blaxploitation thing, a la Eddie Murphy in Dolemite

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Give me an example of a once in a generation movie. Only example I can think of is Forrest Gump

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Titanic maybe?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          clueless, my generations clueless would probably be mean girls

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Forrest Gump isn't even the most "once in a generation" movie in the specific year it was released

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymouse

            That year was an absolute anomaly. Total Golden microcosm year of cinema resulting in some of the greatest movies of all time getting snubbed in the awards due to the competition.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >look up top ten movies in gross
              >Lion King
              >Forrest Gump
              >True Lies
              >The Mask
              >Speed
              >The Flintstones
              >Dumb And Dumber
              >Four Weddings And A Funeral
              >Interview With The Vampire
              >Clear And Present Danger
              >Awards Noms/Winners include Blue Sky, Burnt By The Sun, Bullets Over Broadway, and fricking Pulp Fiction
              >TFW you're a zoomer who has never lived through an even remotely comparable year in film and have only seen film and television get progressively worse your entire life

              It hurts

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I never thought a post would depress me this much

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think Chris Nolan needs to do a Fish Mooney trilogy with Will Smith playing Jada's umbrella boy. Except Will never grows up to be Penguin. His character arc would be slapping Bane and telling him to keep Mooney's name outta his mouf, and Bane just breaks his back, killing him. Then Fish Mooney laments for moment saying "He was a good kid, but not like 2Pac", and then goes back to doing other shit, never mentioning him again.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Take the role of a broken down older cop or former soldier who's hit rock bottom and needs to fight his way back to redemption. It would be symbolic of the fallen movie hero coming back.
      you chuds will complain that it's another humiliation ritual to destroy your childhood hero

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, we'll take it as being more along the lines of The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent or Once Upon A Time In Hollywood if it's kino.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Straight up murdered son

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    come out as trans

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do what Bill Murray did in the late 90s: go indie and do whatever until you find a filmmaker/genre that sticks

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I still can't decide if Neo Yokio was genius or not. It was so fricking stupid with so much sincerity but also so close to parody

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I've never seen it and always kind of wanted to(the shitposting about the toblerone when it was popular got me to try them, and to this day the toblerone is probably my favorite chocolate). I intend on making a thread on Cinemaphile about it because so much about the production and everything surrounding the show is morbidly fascinating.
        Do you think it's worth a watch? It kind of seems like something perfect for this board/site.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's so fricking weird. It's about posh upper society ghost exorcists. But it also has mecha & other dumb shit piled in. The main character is pretentious & vain, but also the show is weirdly self aware of the fact. So the entire time I watched it I couldn't tell if it was all a joke, or the earnest but moronic choice of Jaden trying to have some sort of "message". I kinda dipped out when the mecha-butler turned out to be an Asian woman piloting it. The show kinda lost itself by then

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            lol i did the same thing.
            It wasn't too bad but i'm not really interested in continuing it.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            This sounds like the YIIK of Anime, I need to see this

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Cinemaphile will tell you to frick off waaaahhh not anime
          and unlike most times they cry that they would actually be correct

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Wasn't it directed by the Spy X Family guy?

            Sauce?

            Neo Yokio, Jaden's snime shitpost

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              huh so it is I thought it was actually animated in the west
              Looks like it was largely japanese except the guy they're calling it "created by"

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Indeed. I'm intrigued to see what response I get on Cinemaphile

                Have him play the scientist dude in an english dub of godzilla minus 1
                Really see how far he can stretch himself outside his usual roles

                Voice Acting would be a cool thing for him to do

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sauce?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        People literally talked about the sauce ITT

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I still can't decide if Neo Yokio was genius or not. It was so fricking stupid with so much sincerity but also so close to parody

      I've never seen it and always kind of wanted to(the shitposting about the toblerone when it was popular got me to try them, and to this day the toblerone is probably my favorite chocolate). I intend on making a thread on Cinemaphile about it because so much about the production and everything surrounding the show is morbidly fascinating.
      Do you think it's worth a watch? It kind of seems like something perfect for this board/site.

      Neo yokio was earnest but from a Jaden's moronic nepotism, a child who has never heard the word "no" before.
      I honestly doubt he's ever watched a single anime befire, he probably just heard some other people talk about it. So he asked his daddy to get a Netflix anime ABOUT HIMSELF that's just one long tedious uncreative metaphor for his own life. You can hear the cast phoning it in. Even the animators didn't give a shit.

      Everytime I hear about rappers who are forced to hang out with him they always sound exhausted. He really is an insufferable person.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Now I REALLY want to see this. It sounds like a moronic Black person zoomer version of The Great Gatsby

        He needs to embrace his zestiness, play a hero gay in some Black person homosexual biopic and get embraced by the gays

        That was his son's plan, didn't go over well

        >mmm, this is a good dick dude, mmmm mmm mmmm

        >A nice 80 degree angle, man

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Tell him to pull a Chris Benoit.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Introduce Jada to Tupac
    >send Jaden to the projects
    >send willow to a convent
    >get Will a role in a Tarantino movie
    >get him an extroverted & well liked new fling

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's impossible, no-one comes back from your wife telling everyone you're a literal cuck on national tv while you sit around and take it

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is Will the one case where a celebrity just dumping his wife and kids to hook up with a girl half his age would actually be seen favourably?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >hook up with a girl
      >a girl
      anon, I…

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    get in my time machine and stop him from molesting his son

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A NY real estate agent fallen on hard times, he starts to investigate those israeli tunnels crawling on all fours.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He must kill his wife with his own hands, he could record it like paranormal activity with some cameras around his house and release it as a movie, when they ask about her he'd just answer "you've seen the movie"

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why is his back arched though lmao

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      pure zesty

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    make an obama movie and make will obama. also say he wrote directed and produced it and make him say all kinds of things about obama

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Face tattoo. Will needs to look tough

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yup, big C U C K across his forehead,
      maybe some T U P A C knuckle tatts

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can you imagine getting a blowjob from Will Smith? Nothing shameful, nothing weird, no change of attitude or demeanor from his normal jovial self.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >mmm, this is a good dick dude, mmmm mmm mmmm

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just by putting him out of his misery. People usually have some respect for dead actors.

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How do you feel about OJ?

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How do you save his career?
    I don't? He already had his time in the Sun.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I, Robot 2: Sunny Returns
    >Fresher Prince of Bel Air, Will is now the uncle
    >Shark Tale 2
    >Will, I flew this Wing Chun master guy in from China. His name is Lee, a cousin of Bruce's. He will get you ready for the premiere season of Celebrity UFC
    >Got you the leading role in a refreshingly gory, practical-effect-driven 1980's throwback R-rated creature feature. You're a silent protagonist, so you don't have to memorize any lines, at least up until the film's final act when the monster comes back for the fourth time, at which point you gotta say "aw HELL no." Start memorizing that one, ok?
    >One more thing, I have booked a "vacation" for you and your wife to that area in Africa with that ultra-specific superstition that bald people have gold inside their heads. Thank me later ;^)
    >I charge a modest 15% going rate as your agent, plus tip

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Go back in time and convince him to do Independence Day 2, then kill Jada

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Destroy his wedding ring in the fires of Mount Doom so Jada’s powers will crumble

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The worst part is I really like Will Smith and admire him as an actor. His prostitute wife and c**t kids really nuked his career

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guys rich as frick. Just retire.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This

      Is the reason it would be easy to salvage his career. Literally all he would have to do is divorce his wife, blame everything on her fricking with his mind, and take some time for himself. Then he just returns with literally anything and people would be hype.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He starts getting lead roles in new gansta films directed by john singleton (we use voodoo to communicate)

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    force him to come out as gay to garner sympathy

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn’t save his career. I’d listen to his career, and that’s what nobody did.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      kek

      Men in Black 4 where he passes the torch. I don’t know who they would cast for his new partner/replacement.

      lakeith stanfield and walton goggins

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Men in Black 4 where he passes the torch. I don’t know who they would cast for his new partner/replacement.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    have him do a serious biographical drama about that Indian "how can she slap" guy.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Better yet, he can star in a Dodgeball-esque sports parody film about professional slapping

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I am still surprised south park and no main stream comedy has mentioned that ridiculous power slap shit.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          that's how you know it wasn't real

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What do you mean was? Its still a thing.
            How exactly can you fake those KOs?

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Tell him to leave that shrieking harpy of a wife, her constant cucking of him is embarrassing to watch.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Its kind of funny. Anyone got the webm of her and the guitarist

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That shot spiralling round Will as he impotently bobs his head back and forth with tears welling in his eyes is one of the funniest fricking things ever caught on video. The definition of kino.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i also have this as a webm for some god awful reason
            i think i saved it exclusively to make the pun in the filename

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Make him come out as a thai ladyboy

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Have him do music again

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He needs to embrace his zestiness, play a hero gay in some Black person homosexual biopic and get embraced by the gays

  36. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Spend weeks reading original scripts and find one that will allow him to act his heart out. Fake his death. Move him to Jamaica with a mustache. People mourn him. Release biased information about how difficult his marriage was and how mentally tortured he was. Bring him BACK to the US six years later and claim he was kidnapped by his wife’s hired thugs. Jada goes to jail, Will is back. I coast on a portion of royalties from Fresh Prince in a deal I made with him at the beginning of the plan. Life is good.

  37. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Turn him into an action VOD star with a steady audience of blue collar men.

    No other way, really. It's both the smartest and most dignified choice.

  38. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Oh no! This quick dry cement has me firmly stuck in place! Anon, help me!

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Tommy Lee Jones undoes belt

  39. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    10 year absence
    comeback with a supporting role in a small indie film

    but first and most important: divorce

  40. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I actually think all older actors are in the same boat as Will Smith in the public's eyes. Ever since Weinstein, and I'm sure the well known Tom Hanks conspiracy, people just know actors are all gay and creepy. Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too. Hollywood is like the Gay Mafia. Bruce Willis was the last normal guy

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I still like Bill Murray and Nicholas Cage.
      Mel lives as well.
      Adam Sandler too.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      'bout them meds boyo?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too

      He literally introduced his 27 year old wife to cocaine, gave her multiple STDs and made her frick prostitutes, and then she killed herself saying in her suicide note “This is your fault.”

      She also claimed severe mental abuse which I usually tend to take with a grain of salt, but I can just picture him doing Jim Carrey flailing about movements, biting the air and saying in a silly voice “You’ll never see your family again, Ooh, somebody stop me!”

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I believe her too. Jim Carrey has always come across as a sex deviant. I don't doubt he's into all the spirituality stuff and he might severely regret his past actions now. But seriously what a piece of shit. I wouldn't be surprised if he did shady Epstein island shit during his peak.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too

      He literally introduced his 27 year old wife to cocaine, gave her multiple STDs and made her frick prostitutes, and then she killed herself saying in her suicide note “This is your fault.”

      She also claimed severe mental abuse which I usually tend to take with a grain of salt, but I can just picture him doing Jim Carrey flailing about movements, biting the air and saying in a silly voice “You’ll never see your family again, Ooh, somebody stop me!”

      have you thought about my dick today, anon?

  41. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically put him in GTA VI and be a meme character something like Lazlo is to GTA V and have loads of random encounter missions that make fun of him.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I don’t know if vidya is the answer but he definitely needs to have a sense of humor about all this. If he lashes out he’ll get destroyed. Maybe pull something like Travolta did with pulp fiction to revive his career. He could play a drug dealer in tarantulas last movie or something.

  42. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    wild wild west 2

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hope buck breaking is involved...

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >buck breaking
        What do you think happened with that steam powered dick machine, anon?

  43. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Avenge his murder.

  44. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nasty work

  45. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >now that's a steed worth riding

  46. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >You're now Will's agent. How do you save his career?

    Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, Wild, Wild, West 2,

  47. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Have him play the scientist dude in an english dub of godzilla minus 1
    Really see how far he can stretch himself outside his usual roles

  48. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He needs to star in a Lil Nas X biopic

  49. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Prestige biopic about Tupac. Doesn't matter what a piece of shit he was, we're gonna present him as MLK, Malcolm X, Michael Jackson, Prince, Queen and Jesus all put together.
    Tupac was the GREATEST showman to ever live, a hero and saviour to us all, the most larger than life character ever seen. But also a deep, rich emotional drama underneath. Absolutely heartbreaking speeches and some more subtle performance moments. Real masterclass acting like we haven't seen in decades.
    The highest highs, the lowest lows. Will Smith acts his heart out.
    Vivid, perfect trailer, we get the best Don LaFontaine-style VO on the market. Will Smith IS... Tupac.

    We do this right, Jada literally kills herself opening night.

  50. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Will prepping for some seriously rambunctious backshots

  51. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >YES, VERY GOOD MR. SMITH, WHEN YOU GET TO THE CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS, THAT IS THE EXACT POSITION YOU SHOULD TAKE UP, AND THEN JUST LET 'THE NEGOTIATIONS' HAPPEN.

  52. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fresh Prince sequel where Will is now wealthy and takes care of his wife's poor nephew who moves in to get away from gang violence in his hometown and calls him Uncle Will.

  53. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >move him away from his pyscho wife
    >remove his chastity
    done

  54. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >you now remember the Suicide Squad era when everyone thought he was fricking Margot Robbie

  55. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      brutal bucking

  56. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He comes out as gay.
    Claim Jada blackmailed him for years about it and threatened to murder their children.
    Set him up with some white twink like Tom Holland and portray Will as the bussy breaking top.
    Star in some Oscar bait film where he's a hard working immigrant who is abused by his white wife.

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