At this point you just have to go with the flow.
Convince him to come out since everyone knows he's gay (if he's bi he is gay). And book appropriate gay roles.
1. Make Jada disappear. Refuse to discuss it. No one would care or ask questions.
2. Take the role of a broken down older cop or former soldier who's hit rock bottom and needs to fight his way back to redemption. It would be symbolic of the fallen movie hero coming back.
3. Film a viral video of him slapping Jaden around. People will love it.
Jada has no future career, beyond ANOTHER unnecessary Madagascar movie and exploiting Will for social media attention.
So that b***h has got to go, got to go now!
The only thing that's gonna revive Wills career once that's occurred is a "once in a generational movie" something that only comes along a few in a decade. Will is a little too age to play the action hero role at this point in such a film tbh, so I have a hard time imaging it happening.
You actually have to be a talented actor to pull it off. Will Smith has always made bad movies and was terrible in them and his whole act was one note and doesn't work anymore.
That year was an absolute anomaly. Total Golden microcosm year of cinema resulting in some of the greatest movies of all time getting snubbed in the awards due to the competition.
>look up top ten movies in gross >Lion King >Forrest Gump >True Lies >The Mask >Speed >The Flintstones >Dumb And Dumber >Four Weddings And A Funeral >Interview With The Vampire >Clear And Present Danger >Awards Noms/Winners include Blue Sky, Burnt By The Sun, Bullets Over Broadway, and fricking Pulp Fiction >TFW you're a zoomer who has never lived through an even remotely comparable year in film and have only seen film and television get progressively worse your entire life
I think Chris Nolan needs to do a Fish Mooney trilogy with Will Smith playing Jada's umbrella boy. Except Will never grows up to be Penguin. His character arc would be slapping Bane and telling him to keep Mooney's name outta his mouf, and Bane just breaks his back, killing him. Then Fish Mooney laments for moment saying "He was a good kid, but not like 2Pac", and then goes back to doing other shit, never mentioning him again.
>Take the role of a broken down older cop or former soldier who's hit rock bottom and needs to fight his way back to redemption. It would be symbolic of the fallen movie hero coming back.
you chuds will complain that it's another humiliation ritual to destroy your childhood hero
I've never seen it and always kind of wanted to(the shitposting about the toblerone when it was popular got me to try them, and to this day the toblerone is probably my favorite chocolate). I intend on making a thread on Cinemaphile about it because so much about the production and everything surrounding the show is morbidly fascinating.
Do you think it's worth a watch? It kind of seems like something perfect for this board/site.
It's so fricking weird. It's about posh upper society ghost exorcists. But it also has mecha & other dumb shit piled in. The main character is pretentious & vain, but also the show is weirdly self aware of the fact. So the entire time I watched it I couldn't tell if it was all a joke, or the earnest but moronic choice of Jaden trying to have some sort of "message". I kinda dipped out when the mecha-butler turned out to be an Asian woman piloting it. The show kinda lost itself by then
I still can't decide if Neo Yokio was genius or not. It was so fricking stupid with so much sincerity but also so close to parody
I've never seen it and always kind of wanted to(the shitposting about the toblerone when it was popular got me to try them, and to this day the toblerone is probably my favorite chocolate). I intend on making a thread on Cinemaphile about it because so much about the production and everything surrounding the show is morbidly fascinating.
Do you think it's worth a watch? It kind of seems like something perfect for this board/site.
Neo yokio was earnest but from a Jaden's moronic nepotism, a child who has never heard the word "no" before.
I honestly doubt he's ever watched a single anime befire, he probably just heard some other people talk about it. So he asked his daddy to get a Netflix anime ABOUT HIMSELF that's just one long tedious uncreative metaphor for his own life. You can hear the cast phoning it in. Even the animators didn't give a shit.
Everytime I hear about rappers who are forced to hang out with him they always sound exhausted. He really is an insufferable person.
>Introduce Jada to Tupac >send Jaden to the projects >send willow to a convent >get Will a role in a Tarantino movie >get him an extroverted & well liked new fling
He must kill his wife with his own hands, he could record it like paranormal activity with some cameras around his house and release it as a movie, when they ask about her he'd just answer "you've seen the movie"
>I, Robot 2: Sunny Returns >Fresher Prince of Bel Air, Will is now the uncle >Shark Tale 2 >Will, I flew this Wing Chun master guy in from China. His name is Lee, a cousin of Bruce's. He will get you ready for the premiere season of Celebrity UFC >Got you the leading role in a refreshingly gory, practical-effect-driven 1980's throwback R-rated creature feature. You're a silent protagonist, so you don't have to memorize any lines, at least up until the film's final act when the monster comes back for the fourth time, at which point you gotta say "aw HELL no." Start memorizing that one, ok? >One more thing, I have booked a "vacation" for you and your wife to that area in Africa with that ultra-specific superstition that bald people have gold inside their heads. Thank me later ;^) >I charge a modest 15% going rate as your agent, plus tip
Is the reason it would be easy to salvage his career. Literally all he would have to do is divorce his wife, blame everything on her fricking with his mind, and take some time for himself. Then he just returns with literally anything and people would be hype.
That shot spiralling round Will as he impotently bobs his head back and forth with tears welling in his eyes is one of the funniest fricking things ever caught on video. The definition of kino.
Spend weeks reading original scripts and find one that will allow him to act his heart out. Fake his death. Move him to Jamaica with a mustache. People mourn him. Release biased information about how difficult his marriage was and how mentally tortured he was. Bring him BACK to the US six years later and claim he was kidnapped by his wife’s hired thugs. Jada goes to jail, Will is back. I coast on a portion of royalties from Fresh Prince in a deal I made with him at the beginning of the plan. Life is good.
I actually think all older actors are in the same boat as Will Smith in the public's eyes. Ever since Weinstein, and I'm sure the well known Tom Hanks conspiracy, people just know actors are all gay and creepy. Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too. Hollywood is like the Gay Mafia. Bruce Willis was the last normal guy
>Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too
He literally introduced his 27 year old wife to cocaine, gave her multiple STDs and made her frick prostitutes, and then she killed herself saying in her suicide note “This is your fault.”
She also claimed severe mental abuse which I usually tend to take with a grain of salt, but I can just picture him doing Jim Carrey flailing about movements, biting the air and saying in a silly voice “You’ll never see your family again, Ooh, somebody stop me!”
I believe her too. Jim Carrey has always come across as a sex deviant. I don't doubt he's into all the spirituality stuff and he might severely regret his past actions now. But seriously what a piece of shit. I wouldn't be surprised if he did shady Epstein island shit during his peak.
>Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too
He literally introduced his 27 year old wife to cocaine, gave her multiple STDs and made her frick prostitutes, and then she killed herself saying in her suicide note “This is your fault.”
She also claimed severe mental abuse which I usually tend to take with a grain of salt, but I can just picture him doing Jim Carrey flailing about movements, biting the air and saying in a silly voice “You’ll never see your family again, Ooh, somebody stop me!”
Unironically put him in GTA VI and be a meme character something like Lazlo is to GTA V and have loads of random encounter missions that make fun of him.
I don’t know if vidya is the answer but he definitely needs to have a sense of humor about all this. If he lashes out he’ll get destroyed. Maybe pull something like Travolta did with pulp fiction to revive his career. He could play a drug dealer in tarantulas last movie or something.
Prestige biopic about Tupac. Doesn't matter what a piece of shit he was, we're gonna present him as MLK, Malcolm X, Michael Jackson, Prince, Queen and Jesus all put together.
Tupac was the GREATEST showman to ever live, a hero and saviour to us all, the most larger than life character ever seen. But also a deep, rich emotional drama underneath. Absolutely heartbreaking speeches and some more subtle performance moments. Real masterclass acting like we haven't seen in decades.
The highest highs, the lowest lows. Will Smith acts his heart out.
Vivid, perfect trailer, we get the best Don LaFontaine-style VO on the market. Will Smith IS... Tupac.
We do this right, Jada literally kills herself opening night.
>YES, VERY GOOD MR. SMITH, WHEN YOU GET TO THE CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS, THAT IS THE EXACT POSITION YOU SHOULD TAKE UP, AND THEN JUST LET 'THE NEGOTIATIONS' HAPPEN.
Fresh Prince sequel where Will is now wealthy and takes care of his wife's poor nephew who moves in to get away from gang violence in his hometown and calls him Uncle Will.
He comes out as gay.
Claim Jada blackmailed him for years about it and threatened to murder their children.
Set him up with some white twink like Tom Holland and portray Will as the bussy breaking top.
Star in some Oscar bait film where he's a hard working immigrant who is abused by his white wife.
why is he assuming the buck breaking position?
He's in the process of saving his career
Natural position for the Black person to kneel before his White master.
It was murder in there
ok serious answer, his jacket was tight o
in the back and if he didn't assume the pose it would've ripped
Just a regular Friday
At this point you just have to go with the flow.
Convince him to come out since everyone knows he's gay (if he's bi he is gay). And book appropriate gay roles.
watch Six Degrees of Separation
1. Make Jada disappear. Refuse to discuss it. No one would care or ask questions.
2. Take the role of a broken down older cop or former soldier who's hit rock bottom and needs to fight his way back to redemption. It would be symbolic of the fallen movie hero coming back.
3. Film a viral video of him slapping Jaden around. People will love it.
Do you do PR in real life?
Jada has no future career, beyond ANOTHER unnecessary Madagascar movie and exploiting Will for social media attention.
So that b***h has got to go, got to go now!
The only thing that's gonna revive Wills career once that's occurred is a "once in a generational movie" something that only comes along a few in a decade. Will is a little too age to play the action hero role at this point in such a film tbh, so I have a hard time imaging it happening.
if denzel and keanu could do it so could will
the problem really is jada. will has been pussywhipped into a shadow of his potential
Unironically make him star in a Tarantino movie and make him pull something like Travolta.
You actually have to be a talented actor to pull it off. Will Smith has always made bad movies and was terrible in them and his whole act was one note and doesn't work anymore.
I could see him being put into a Blaxploitation thing, a la Eddie Murphy in Dolemite
Give me an example of a once in a generation movie. Only example I can think of is Forrest Gump
Titanic maybe?
clueless, my generations clueless would probably be mean girls
Forrest Gump isn't even the most "once in a generation" movie in the specific year it was released
That year was an absolute anomaly. Total Golden microcosm year of cinema resulting in some of the greatest movies of all time getting snubbed in the awards due to the competition.
>look up top ten movies in gross
>Lion King
>Forrest Gump
>True Lies
>The Mask
>Speed
>The Flintstones
>Dumb And Dumber
>Four Weddings And A Funeral
>Interview With The Vampire
>Clear And Present Danger
>Awards Noms/Winners include Blue Sky, Burnt By The Sun, Bullets Over Broadway, and fricking Pulp Fiction
>TFW you're a zoomer who has never lived through an even remotely comparable year in film and have only seen film and television get progressively worse your entire life
It hurts
I never thought a post would depress me this much
I think Chris Nolan needs to do a Fish Mooney trilogy with Will Smith playing Jada's umbrella boy. Except Will never grows up to be Penguin. His character arc would be slapping Bane and telling him to keep Mooney's name outta his mouf, and Bane just breaks his back, killing him. Then Fish Mooney laments for moment saying "He was a good kid, but not like 2Pac", and then goes back to doing other shit, never mentioning him again.
>Take the role of a broken down older cop or former soldier who's hit rock bottom and needs to fight his way back to redemption. It would be symbolic of the fallen movie hero coming back.
you chuds will complain that it's another humiliation ritual to destroy your childhood hero
No, we'll take it as being more along the lines of The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent or Once Upon A Time In Hollywood if it's kino.
Straight up murdered son
come out as trans
Do what Bill Murray did in the late 90s: go indie and do whatever until you find a filmmaker/genre that sticks
I still can't decide if Neo Yokio was genius or not. It was so fricking stupid with so much sincerity but also so close to parody
I've never seen it and always kind of wanted to(the shitposting about the toblerone when it was popular got me to try them, and to this day the toblerone is probably my favorite chocolate). I intend on making a thread on Cinemaphile about it because so much about the production and everything surrounding the show is morbidly fascinating.
Do you think it's worth a watch? It kind of seems like something perfect for this board/site.
It's so fricking weird. It's about posh upper society ghost exorcists. But it also has mecha & other dumb shit piled in. The main character is pretentious & vain, but also the show is weirdly self aware of the fact. So the entire time I watched it I couldn't tell if it was all a joke, or the earnest but moronic choice of Jaden trying to have some sort of "message". I kinda dipped out when the mecha-butler turned out to be an Asian woman piloting it. The show kinda lost itself by then
lol i did the same thing.
It wasn't too bad but i'm not really interested in continuing it.
This sounds like the YIIK of Anime, I need to see this
Cinemaphile will tell you to frick off waaaahhh not anime
and unlike most times they cry that they would actually be correct
Wasn't it directed by the Spy X Family guy?
Neo Yokio, Jaden's snime shitpost
huh so it is I thought it was actually animated in the west
Looks like it was largely japanese except the guy they're calling it "created by"
Indeed. I'm intrigued to see what response I get on Cinemaphile
Voice Acting would be a cool thing for him to do
Sauce?
People literally talked about the sauce ITT
Neo yokio was earnest but from a Jaden's moronic nepotism, a child who has never heard the word "no" before.
I honestly doubt he's ever watched a single anime befire, he probably just heard some other people talk about it. So he asked his daddy to get a Netflix anime ABOUT HIMSELF that's just one long tedious uncreative metaphor for his own life. You can hear the cast phoning it in. Even the animators didn't give a shit.
Everytime I hear about rappers who are forced to hang out with him they always sound exhausted. He really is an insufferable person.
Now I REALLY want to see this. It sounds like a moronic Black person zoomer version of The Great Gatsby
That was his son's plan, didn't go over well
>A nice 80 degree angle, man
Tell him to pull a Chris Benoit.
>Introduce Jada to Tupac
>send Jaden to the projects
>send willow to a convent
>get Will a role in a Tarantino movie
>get him an extroverted & well liked new fling
It's impossible, no-one comes back from your wife telling everyone you're a literal cuck on national tv while you sit around and take it
Is Will the one case where a celebrity just dumping his wife and kids to hook up with a girl half his age would actually be seen favourably?
>hook up with a girl
>a girl
anon, I…
get in my time machine and stop him from molesting his son
A NY real estate agent fallen on hard times, he starts to investigate those israeli tunnels crawling on all fours.
He must kill his wife with his own hands, he could record it like paranormal activity with some cameras around his house and release it as a movie, when they ask about her he'd just answer "you've seen the movie"
why is his back arched though lmao
pure zesty
make an obama movie and make will obama. also say he wrote directed and produced it and make him say all kinds of things about obama
Face tattoo. Will needs to look tough
Yup, big C U C K across his forehead,
maybe some T U P A C knuckle tatts
Can you imagine getting a blowjob from Will Smith? Nothing shameful, nothing weird, no change of attitude or demeanor from his normal jovial self.
>mmm, this is a good dick dude, mmmm mmm mmmm
Just by putting him out of his misery. People usually have some respect for dead actors.
>How do you feel about OJ?
>How do you save his career?
I don't? He already had his time in the Sun.
>I, Robot 2: Sunny Returns
>Fresher Prince of Bel Air, Will is now the uncle
>Shark Tale 2
>Will, I flew this Wing Chun master guy in from China. His name is Lee, a cousin of Bruce's. He will get you ready for the premiere season of Celebrity UFC
>Got you the leading role in a refreshingly gory, practical-effect-driven 1980's throwback R-rated creature feature. You're a silent protagonist, so you don't have to memorize any lines, at least up until the film's final act when the monster comes back for the fourth time, at which point you gotta say "aw HELL no." Start memorizing that one, ok?
>One more thing, I have booked a "vacation" for you and your wife to that area in Africa with that ultra-specific superstition that bald people have gold inside their heads. Thank me later ;^)
>I charge a modest 15% going rate as your agent, plus tip
Go back in time and convince him to do Independence Day 2, then kill Jada
Destroy his wedding ring in the fires of Mount Doom so Jada’s powers will crumble
The worst part is I really like Will Smith and admire him as an actor. His prostitute wife and c**t kids really nuked his career
Guys rich as frick. Just retire.
This
Is the reason it would be easy to salvage his career. Literally all he would have to do is divorce his wife, blame everything on her fricking with his mind, and take some time for himself. Then he just returns with literally anything and people would be hype.
He starts getting lead roles in new gansta films directed by john singleton (we use voodoo to communicate)
force him to come out as gay to garner sympathy
I wouldn’t save his career. I’d listen to his career, and that’s what nobody did.
kek
lakeith stanfield and walton goggins
Men in Black 4 where he passes the torch. I don’t know who they would cast for his new partner/replacement.
have him do a serious biographical drama about that Indian "how can she slap" guy.
Better yet, he can star in a Dodgeball-esque sports parody film about professional slapping
I am still surprised south park and no main stream comedy has mentioned that ridiculous power slap shit.
that's how you know it wasn't real
What do you mean was? Its still a thing.
How exactly can you fake those KOs?
Tell him to leave that shrieking harpy of a wife, her constant cucking of him is embarrassing to watch.
Its kind of funny. Anyone got the webm of her and the guitarist
That shot spiralling round Will as he impotently bobs his head back and forth with tears welling in his eyes is one of the funniest fricking things ever caught on video. The definition of kino.
i also have this as a webm for some god awful reason
i think i saved it exclusively to make the pun in the filename
Make him come out as a thai ladyboy
Have him do music again
He needs to embrace his zestiness, play a hero gay in some Black person homosexual biopic and get embraced by the gays
Spend weeks reading original scripts and find one that will allow him to act his heart out. Fake his death. Move him to Jamaica with a mustache. People mourn him. Release biased information about how difficult his marriage was and how mentally tortured he was. Bring him BACK to the US six years later and claim he was kidnapped by his wife’s hired thugs. Jada goes to jail, Will is back. I coast on a portion of royalties from Fresh Prince in a deal I made with him at the beginning of the plan. Life is good.
Turn him into an action VOD star with a steady audience of blue collar men.
No other way, really. It's both the smartest and most dignified choice.
>Oh no! This quick dry cement has me firmly stuck in place! Anon, help me!
>Tommy Lee Jones undoes belt
10 year absence
comeback with a supporting role in a small indie film
but first and most important: divorce
I actually think all older actors are in the same boat as Will Smith in the public's eyes. Ever since Weinstein, and I'm sure the well known Tom Hanks conspiracy, people just know actors are all gay and creepy. Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too. Hollywood is like the Gay Mafia. Bruce Willis was the last normal guy
I still like Bill Murray and Nicholas Cage.
Mel lives as well.
Adam Sandler too.
'bout them meds boyo?
>Jim Carrey seems guilty and creepy about something too
He literally introduced his 27 year old wife to cocaine, gave her multiple STDs and made her frick prostitutes, and then she killed herself saying in her suicide note “This is your fault.”
She also claimed severe mental abuse which I usually tend to take with a grain of salt, but I can just picture him doing Jim Carrey flailing about movements, biting the air and saying in a silly voice “You’ll never see your family again, Ooh, somebody stop me!”
I believe her too. Jim Carrey has always come across as a sex deviant. I don't doubt he's into all the spirituality stuff and he might severely regret his past actions now. But seriously what a piece of shit. I wouldn't be surprised if he did shady Epstein island shit during his peak.
have you thought about my dick today, anon?
Unironically put him in GTA VI and be a meme character something like Lazlo is to GTA V and have loads of random encounter missions that make fun of him.
I don’t know if vidya is the answer but he definitely needs to have a sense of humor about all this. If he lashes out he’ll get destroyed. Maybe pull something like Travolta did with pulp fiction to revive his career. He could play a drug dealer in tarantulas last movie or something.
wild wild west 2
I hope buck breaking is involved...
>buck breaking
What do you think happened with that steam powered dick machine, anon?
Avenge his murder.
Nasty work
>now that's a steed worth riding
>You're now Will's agent. How do you save his career?
Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, Wild, Wild, West 2,
Have him play the scientist dude in an english dub of godzilla minus 1
Really see how far he can stretch himself outside his usual roles
He needs to star in a Lil Nas X biopic
Prestige biopic about Tupac. Doesn't matter what a piece of shit he was, we're gonna present him as MLK, Malcolm X, Michael Jackson, Prince, Queen and Jesus all put together.
Tupac was the GREATEST showman to ever live, a hero and saviour to us all, the most larger than life character ever seen. But also a deep, rich emotional drama underneath. Absolutely heartbreaking speeches and some more subtle performance moments. Real masterclass acting like we haven't seen in decades.
The highest highs, the lowest lows. Will Smith acts his heart out.
Vivid, perfect trailer, we get the best Don LaFontaine-style VO on the market. Will Smith IS... Tupac.
We do this right, Jada literally kills herself opening night.
Will prepping for some seriously rambunctious backshots
>YES, VERY GOOD MR. SMITH, WHEN YOU GET TO THE CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS, THAT IS THE EXACT POSITION YOU SHOULD TAKE UP, AND THEN JUST LET 'THE NEGOTIATIONS' HAPPEN.
Fresh Prince sequel where Will is now wealthy and takes care of his wife's poor nephew who moves in to get away from gang violence in his hometown and calls him Uncle Will.
>move him away from his pyscho wife
>remove his chastity
done
>you now remember the Suicide Squad era when everyone thought he was fricking Margot Robbie
brutal bucking
He comes out as gay.
Claim Jada blackmailed him for years about it and threatened to murder their children.
Set him up with some white twink like Tom Holland and portray Will as the bussy breaking top.
Star in some Oscar bait film where he's a hard working immigrant who is abused by his white wife.